SUN 15 OCT 2000

WEEKLY WHINE

Are you extreme?

What with the X Games, the Gravity Games, and such interesting objects, many people are asking themselves if they're extreme. Here's a series of things that you can use to help figure that out.

	If you own one of those collapsible scooters
	If you own two of those collapsible scooters
	If you own one of those collapsible scooters with a DVD-ROM drive
	If you own a boat that lacks a steering mechanism
	If you bought an iMac and took out the fan
	If you're a poet, but you attempt to rhyme everything with "lunk ride"
	If you live in the middle of Greenland and thus can't tell the difference between street luge and regular luge
	If your best friend is a newt who lives under a rock in the Grand Tetons
	If your best friend is a patent attorney who lives under a rock in the Grand Tetons
	If you're a MSTie and you like rice
	If your car has only two gears: first and last
	If you think that anything that can't kill you only makes you stronger, and the things that can kill you are still pretty cool
	If you frequently put in your contact lenses backward - and don't notice
	If you have a shirt that reads "Been there, downloaded that"
	If you eat a sugary breakfast cereal for dinner with a slice of lemon
	To paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy: "If you sleep on a perch, and your house is in midair, and you parachute to work every day, and you take the hang glider home in the evening, and your job is at a gas station in Phoenix, ... you might just be somewhat extreme."