WEEKLY WHINE

Blindness

Are you a Swedish football referee? If so, you might want to proclaim to the world, loudly and repeatedly, that you are not Martin Hansson, especially if you visit Ireland Rep.

Those of us in the rest of the world may be concerned about this embarrassing situation in which France qualified for the 2010 Men’s World Cup thanks to an obvious handball that was not called. But luckily, there are actions that we can take. We can, for example, watch a match involving France and pretend that Ireland Rep are in fact playing. Or we can attend matches officiated by Hansson with signs such as these.

• REPENT HANSSON
• THAT THING ROUND YOUR NECK IS A WHISTLE
• WHERE’S YOUR BÉRET?
• LIBERTÉ, EGALITÉ, HANDBALLITÉ
• GREAT GAME – TOO BAD YOU MISSED IT
• IRISH EYES WERE SMILING UNTIL YOU POKED YOUR FINGERS IN THEM
• MARTIN DE GAULLE
• NOW SERVING FREEDOM FRIES
• MARTIN THE CHEESE EATING SURRENDER MONKEY
• CAN I HAVE A FREE KICK?
• HANSSON, HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?
• MMMBOP, YOU FUCKED UP
• LAW 12: “A DIRECT FREE KICK IS AWARDED TO THE OPPOSING TEAM IF A PLAYER HANDLES THE BALL DELIBERATELY”
• I KNOW THE GUY NEXT TO ME HAS A LONG SIGN, SO HERE’S THE SUMMARY: HANDBALL IS ILLEGAL
• HANSSON, REF MY SUNDAY LEAGUE AND TURN IT INTO RUGBY
• HANSSON FOR NBA FINALS