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WEEKLY WHINE

... 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019

WHO WANTS TO HOST THE MEN’S WORLD CUP

“The Football Federation of Australia currently has no information about which venues it intends to propose.” Consider how you are expected to consider something that doesn’t exist in Who Wants to Host the Men’s World Cup.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Australia, England, Indonesia, Japan, Korea Rep, Mexico, Netherlands, Belgium, Qatar, Russia, Spain, Portugal, United States

61*

“Do you have some kind of problem with Indianapolis?” Don’t let the NCAA insert television timeouts in 61*.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Football, Men’s World Cup, United States

61 FOR 2018 OR 2022

“GoobNet ranks the 61 stadiums that have expressed interest in hosting a potential Men’s World Cup in the US, taking into account both the stadium itself and the capabilities of the surrounding metropolitan market.” GoobNet ranks the 61 stadiums that have expressed interest in hosting a potential Men’s World Cup in the US, taking into account both the stadium itself and the capabilities of the surrounding metropolitan market, in 61 for 2018 or 2022.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, United States

HOW TO IMPLEMENT RELEGATION

“MLS has not yet announced its competition plans for the following seasons, which is a horrible mistake, because the GoobNet Relegatory Agency is going to force plans onto it.” Wait for major sport leagues to be caught napping in How to Implement Relegation.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, ARRRGH, Football, MLS

CHANGE WE CAN KICK OFF TO

“Reject, and make clear to FIFA that when submitting change proposals to the IFAB, the stated reason must not be a bare assed lie.” Encourage Sepp Blatter to appear on The Moment of Truth in Change We Can Kick Off To.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football, FIFA

A FIVE POINT ACTION PLAN

“In most countries, that’s primarily because the fans boycott, start fights, start riots, or set Vespas on fire if they don’t get their way.” Maintain public order in A Five Point Action Plan.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football

WHOLLY EVIDENT

“We here at GoobNet are pleased to present to you this prediction of the teams’ final positions in several major European football leagues.” Enjoy the total accuracy and foreknowledge of the upcoming results of 26 different leagues in Wholly Evident.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

DUBAI REMAINS MOSTLY HARMLESS

“Philadelphia would have had reservations about scheduling these matches for the same weekend as the NFL’s conference championships, but luckily for all concerned, the Eagles will take a chance on Michael Vick in 2010 and will end up last in their division.” Enjoy our alternate sporting history in Dubai Remains Mostly Harmless.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, England, Prediction

CERTAINTY

“If any of these groups do not end up in this order at the end of 2008, we will punish our team of prognosticators by making them officiate a match between Perivia and Panagura.” Ensure that you packed your sunscreen in Certainty.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Prediction

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: DON GARBER

“How does one research graffiti?” Encounter some of the world’s most pointless professions in Schmilblick Patrol: Don Garber.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Football, MLS

MLS IDENTITY

“Every MLS club has an identity. Do you know what they are?” Suit up for the game of their lives [Salt Lake’s, that is] in MLS Identity.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, MLS, Interactive, Game shows

THERE IS HOPE IF YOU’RE FLYING SOLO

“This is a classic example of a coach outthinking himself.” See why you don’t need to overanalyse the type of humour we have here in There Is Hope If You’re Flying Solo.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Women’s World Cup, Review committee

INTERACTION: WOMEN’S WORLD CUP GOALKEEPERS

“Why do we still show the postal mail address?” Show the willingness to adapt with the times in Interaction: Women’s World Cup Goalkeepers.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Interaction, Football, Women’s World Cup

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: MARCEL MATHIER

“That sounds absurdly specific.” Be the first to know about a ligament in a knee in a player on a team in Schmilblick Patrol: Marcel Mathier.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Football

DO NOT KICK OFF

“Umm... yeah. So if you could go ahead and sort of tell us your qualifying format for South Africa 2010, that’d be great.” Let football be the boss of you in Do Not Kick Off.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football, Men’s World Cup

GET THE BECKHAMESSAGE

“The security guard also said something to the effect that you haven’t got any aguante and that being a Chiva qualifies you as a puto.” Count the number of teams in LA in Get the BeckhaMessage.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football, MLS

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