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NO TWELVE HOUR TIME PERMITTED BEYOND THIS POINT

WEEKLY WHINE

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SLIPPERY WHEN AWESOME

“I’m gonna start a band called Embarrassingly Awesome.” See their opening act, Nekkid Gra–What?!, in Slippery When Awesome.

Keywords: Variety, Review committee

BLUES, ZINGS, AND OCTOPUSES

“You mean, we should have been looking away from it.” See what deserves your full and undivided lack of attention in Blues, Zings, and Octopuses.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Review committee

THIS WAY TO THE MAGIC ROUNDABOUT

“Starting next year, we will give out an award known as the Capt Chesley A ‘Sully’ Sullenberger Award for the Most Awesome Achievement.” See why there were no other awesome achievements this year in This Way to the Magic Roundabout.

Keywords: Variety, Review committee

OF HOMOMATRIMOPHOBIA AND HICKEYS

“Sorry, Betty, but it’s true. There was a time when you would have gotten hickey right away.” Be honest about Betty White’s Password abilities in Of Homomatrimophobia and Hickeys.

Keywords: Variety, Review committee

NO HORSES ALLOWED

“But for those of us whose rights haven’t been violated [yet], these Olympics were lots of fun.” Disregard the secret police who are following you around in No Horses Allowed.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics, Review committee

THE LITTLE GIRL MATH HOUR

“Hopefully, the next president of the US will act as the lead shit getter-together.” Discover why there is currently not a plan to organise everyone’s shit in The Little Girl Math Hour.

Keywords: Variety, Review committee

THERE IS HOPE IF YOU’RE FLYING SOLO

“This is a classic example of a coach outthinking himself.” See why you don’t need to overanalyse the type of humour we have here in There Is Hope If You’re Flying Solo.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Women’s World Cup, Review committee

DON’T YOU DARE PUT THAT AROUND MY NECK

“To me, the more important question is: What will happen to Barker’s Beauties, Barker’s Bargain Bar, and Barker’s Markers?” Ask what everyone else is too scared or lazy to ask in Don’t You Dare Put That Around My Neck.

Keywords: Variety, Review committee

LESS BLUE, PLEASE

"Every time they play for the next couple of years, people will be saying, 'Hey, aren't you the guys who got eliminated because you spent the whole match playing for penalties and then missed them all?'" Discover the negative side of negative play in Less Blue, Please.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Review committee

IT'S ADVANCED PROBABILISTIC ANALYSIS WITH TARA REID!

"And if any of you media outlets %&@* this up again, we will personally deliver a lottery machine to your office so that you can conduct the experiment yourselves." Get the right answer for a change in It's Advanced Probabilistic Analysis with Tara Reid!.

Keywords: Variety, Review committee

THE FOLLY OF ARTEST

"Four years from now, when you're all being laid off, you will see the error of your ways." Encounter the bitter truth in The Folly of Artest.

Keywords: Variety, Review committee

FROM THE TORCH TO THE GRILL

"The Vegas odds on who's appearing at the closing ceremony: Tetrahedron Guy 2:1, Octahedron Guy 4:1, Dodecahedron Guy 3:2, Icosahedron Guy 12:1." Bring ancient Greek culture into modern life in From the Torch to the Grill.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics, Review committee

URINE JOKES? YOU GOT IT

"I'm sorry, but when we're talking about cute spoiled daughters who are next in line to the family fortune, all I can say is: G'uh!" Bust out the pink sweatsuits in Urine Jokes? You Got It.

Keywords: Variety, Review committee

KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON

"Hello! They are criticising you, stupid!" Inform silly people of their relations with others in Keep Your Shirt On.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Women’s World Cup, Review committee

KNEECAPPING 2002

Keywords: Variety, Review committee

NOW THAT YOU'VE WASTED A MONTH...

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Review committee

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