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YOUR OFFICIAL LUCY DIAMOND NEWS SOURCE

WEEKLY WHINE

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IMPROVING UPON WORST

“You deserve better, and we are going to give you better.” Discover just how far we have to climb in Improving Upon Worst.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

REDUCTION IN COMPLEXITY

“Back already? How was India?” Determine which of many head nods best applies to Reduction in Complexity.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

YOU’RE WELCOME FOR YOUR WELCOME

“Actually, it was much more complicated and nuanced than that.” Deny all suggestion of shades of grey in You’re Welcome for Your Welcome.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT, Football, Men’s World Cup

DECISIONS ARE BEING MADE RAPIDLY

“Telling people what is happening in the world and giving them context in order to help them understand things and make informed decisions is so 20th century.” Find out that we are late to the party in Decisions Are Being Made Rapidly.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

COME RIGHT IN, MAGIC

“Join us for a moment as we talk about sport.” Join us for a moment as we talk about sport, and then go away the next moment as we cease talking about sport, in Come Right In, Magic.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT

THE BIAS OF REALITY

“But what if you want to know what is really happening in the region?” Resign yourself to finding out only what Vladimir Putin wants you to know in The Bias of Reality.

Keywords: Politics, Support, SPLUT

QUESTIONS TO BE ADDRESSED

“At least, he would if you cared about people who are not you.” See what happens to people who make the dangerous mistake of not being you in Questions to Be Addressed.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

DROPPING THE BALL

“But what of the results of the draw?” Determine which is the Group of Consequences in Dropping the Ball.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT, Football, Men’s World Cup

US GOVERNMENT EXISTENCE STILL A THING

“Oh, fuck you, Congress.” Discover that our take on the situation is not really all that unique in US Government Existence Still a Thing.

Keywords: Politics, Support, SPLUT

GEOCENTRIC COVERAGE

“From the crust to the core, you’ll be the first to know about the latest on Earth’s magnetic field, its metallic core – both the liquid and solid layers – and all of the tectonic plates.” Discover who will be our Mohorovičić correspondent in Geocentric Coverage.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

MESSI AND ENEMIES

“Those things are awesome.” Try the unicorn veal in Messi and Enemies.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT, Football

NO LONGER TIME TO GO WOOT ABOUT LIQUID HELIUM

“Go visit a site that you do have the right to visit.” Discover why nobody cares how many Harlem Shake videos you watch in No Longer Time to Go Woot About Liquid Helium.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

FIND OUT IF NOBODY BEATS ‘WIZ’

“So don’t be like Rafa Márquez.” Find someone else to headbutt in Find Out If Nobody Beats ‘Wiz’.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT, Football, MLS

KITCHEN PROGNOSTICATIONAL

“We here at GoobNet are still hard at work on our machine that makes things stop happening, but with little to no success so far.” Experience our regret at our inability to make One Direction stop happening in Kitchen Prognosticational.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

METICULOUS MATHEMATICAL ANALYSIS OF THIS WEEK’S RESULTS

“Other than ‘everyone should vote’, ‘everyone and their mother should vote’, and ‘seriously, get your sorry ass out there and vote’, there are not many lessons.” See whose mothers’ sorry asses failed to vote in Meticulous Mathematical Analysis of This Week’s Results.

Keywords: Politics, Support, SPLUT

FLAGS THAT WE WILL PICK UP

“We have still been unsuccessful in launching our 24 hour sports news network, for reasons that will forever be a mystery to us.” Determine whether Commissioner Dole is available on such short notice in Flags That We Will Pick Up.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT

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