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WEEKLY WHINE

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MEN’S WORLD CUP: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO...

“Employees watching the matches instead of getting shit done cause billions of dollars in lost productivity, but FIFA takes in billions of dollars on television rights and other merchandising, so it all works out.” Use your television to view satellite programming live in Men’s World Cup: Whatever Happened To....

Keywords: Sport, Knowledge, Football, Men’s World Cup

FOOTBALL LEAGUE: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO...

“They have never been top flight champions.” Avoid yoyoing in Football League: Whatever Happened To....

Keywords: Sport, Knowledge, Football, England

RUSH TO KEEP TRYING

“Luckily, we here at GoobNet do not limit ourselves to reality.” Reject our reality and substitute your own in Rush to Keep Trying.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, American football, NFL, Sport uniforms, Interactive

MLS KITS EXIST

“Once you have all twelve correct, you will advance to our exciting new bonus round, Beat Don Garber.” Determine whether that totally was or totally was not endangering the safety of the opponent in MLS Kits Exist.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, MLS, Interactive

ON THE ORIGIN OF BRACKETS

“Oh, those sirens. Merely a precaution.” Pay no attention to those conspiracy hypotheses on Reddit in On the Origin of Brackets.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Basketball

2018 GOOBNET WOMEN’S WINTER PARALYMPIC CHAMPIONSHIP: RESULTS

“The tournament, as with the Paralympic Games themselves, was full of surprises.” Realise that your attention has not been directed to the right place, and overcompensate for this by directing your attention to the 2018 GoobNet Women’s Winter Paralympic Championship: Results.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Tournament, Winter Paralympics

2018 GOOBNET WOMEN’S WINTER PARALYMPIC CHAMPIONSHIP: BRACKETS

“Fill in your bracket by clicking your preferred Paralympian in each pair.” Fill in your bracket by clicking your preferred Paralympian in each pair whilst avoiding the Whammy in 2018 GoobNet Women’s Winter Paralympic Championship: Brackets.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Tournament, Interactive, Winter Paralympics

2018 GOOBNET WOMEN’S WINTER PARALYMPIC CHAMPIONSHIP: SEEDINGS

“We are pleased to announce the seeds for the first GoobNet Women’s Winter Paralympic Championship, determining the best female Paralympian of all time.” View the seeds for the first GoobNet Women’s Winter Paralympic Championship in 2018 GoobNet Women’s Winter Paralympic Championship: Seedings.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Tournament, Winter Paralympics

DISTRACTION

“We hope these will help you through the next 3.96 years of being forgotten about again.” Do your best to retain the knowledge that curling is in fact a sport that exists, even in the face of constant Distraction.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Winter Olympics, Review committee

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: ESTER LEDECKÁ

“I do not think you are making the most advantageous use of the limited number of queries that we have.” Maximise enjoyment and efficiency as you standardise your consumption of Schmilblick Patrol: Ester Ledecká.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Winter Olympics

THE EXISTENCE OF THE WINTER OLYMPICS

“Why do snowboards exist?” Realise that the answer is “because humans make them” in The Existence of the Winter Olympics.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Ontology, Winter Olympics

THE SUPER BOWL SWINGOMETER

“Well, that was an interesting Super Bowl.” Discover that we really do write these things months in advance and have no idea what actually happened yesterday in The Super Bowl Swingometer.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, NFL

ICE AND FIRE, BUT NO SINGING

“There was no official logo, but there was a poster depicting a giant eagle attacking some bobsledders, or something.” Watch out for snakes in Ice and Fire, but No Singing.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Winter Olympics

FASTEST FINGER FEST: WINTER OLYMPIC EDITION

“From snowboarding to sliding, from curling to hockey, from alpine skiing to ski jumping to freestyle skiing to cross country skiing, this will be the world’s largest winter party.” Find out whether Olaf is invited to the Fastest Finger Fest: Winter Olympic Edition.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Interactive, Game shows, Fastest Finger Fest, Winter Olympics

STUMP EDVARD WITHOUT PAYING TO PLAY

“I would also like to formally announce my endorsement of Wen’s description of my decision as a copout.” Stake your claim to “spineless wishy washy weaselling” in Stump Edvard Without Paying to Play.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Edvard, Stump Edvard, Football, United States

CALLING ALL PUNDITS

“The event featured speeches by the presidents of FIFA and of Russia, who are top contenders for the Corruption Cup.” Apply a sufficient quantity of palm grease in Calling All Pundits.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT, Football, Men’s World Cup

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