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NOT PROVEN TO INCREASE INTELLIGENCE IN PARIS HILTON... BUT LET’S HOPE SO

WEEKLY WHINE

... 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019

CLEANING UP HELMETBALL

“Pink would be a good choice.” See why NFL teams are missundaztood in Cleaning Up Helmetball.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, American football, NFL, Sport uniforms

KICKS FOR CLICKS

“You sound like one of the people who paid only GB£5.” Get out your wallet and watch some Internet in Kicks for Clicks.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Football, Men’s World Cup, England, United States

MLB: ARRRGH!

“The winners of each series play in the seven game Major League Championship Series, with the name ‘World Series’ banned until the MLCS winner plays a team from another continent.” Allow the name normalisation programme to proceed in MLB: ARRRGH!.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, ARRRGH, Baseball, MLB

CLEAR TO EVERYONE

“We here at GoobNet are pleased to present to you this prediction of the group and elimination phases of the 2009-10 UEFA Europa League [formerly the UEFA Cup].” See why Galatasaray are sure to be disappointed in Clear to Everyone.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

ONLY 24 MORE PLACES REMAIN

“This is such a time.” Determine the suchness of this time in Only 24 More Places Remain.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT

WHO WANTS TO HOST THE MEN’S WORLD CUP

“The Football Federation of Australia currently has no information about which venues it intends to propose.” Consider how you are expected to consider something that doesn’t exist in Who Wants to Host the Men’s World Cup.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Australia, England, Indonesia, Japan, Korea Rep, Mexico, Netherlands, Belgium, Qatar, Russia, Spain, Portugal, United States

THE NBA: ARRRGH!

“This is adapted from Bill Simmons’s solution to the NBA’s Tankapalooza crisis of 2007.” See how the NBA can be made non-tanktastic again in The NBA: ARRRGH!.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, ARRRGH, Basketball, NBA

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT TODAY?

“That’s really nice that you want to make me an All Star, but I really don’t deserve it. Give it to Han Duan instead.” Witness players being team players [even when the team in question exists only for a few days] in What Do You Want to Talk About Today?.

Keywords: Community, Mailbox, Sport

THE NHL: ARRRGH!

“The six opponents from the NHL First League are the four teams that finished last in their respective divisions plus two antiwild cards who are seeded first and second.” Find out where the antiwild things are in The NHL: ARRRGH!.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, ARRRGH, Ice hockey

61*

“Do you have some kind of problem with Indianapolis?” Don’t let the NCAA insert television timeouts in 61*.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Football, Men’s World Cup, United States

61 FOR 2018 OR 2022

“GoobNet ranks the 61 stadiums that have expressed interest in hosting a potential Men’s World Cup in the US, taking into account both the stadium itself and the capabilities of the surrounding metropolitan market.” GoobNet ranks the 61 stadiums that have expressed interest in hosting a potential Men’s World Cup in the US, taking into account both the stadium itself and the capabilities of the surrounding metropolitan market, in 61 for 2018 or 2022.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, United States

ÉSTEBAN COLBERTO CELEBRATES A ROUGE WITH KATIE PRICE’S BREASTS

“We recognise that many fans planning to attend the 2018 Super Bowl are having difficulty determining how to reach Nissan Stadium via train and are instead considering renting automobiles. We recommend against that and would advise fans staying in downtown Tokyo to either take the Yokohama- or Ōfuna-bound Keihin-Tōhoku Line to Higashi-Kanagawa and then change to the Hachiōji-bound Yokohama Line and get off at Kozukue, or take the Atami-bound Tōkaidō Line [provided it is not a Commuter Rapid service] to Yokohama and then change to the Hachiōji-bound Yokohama Line and get off at Kozukue, or take the Kurihama-bound Yokosuka Line to Yokohama and then change to the Hachiōji-bound Yokohama Line and get off at Kozukue, or take the Takao- or Ōtsuki-bound Chūō Rapid Line to Hachiōji and then change to the Yokohama- or Ōfuna-bound Yokohama Line and get off at Kozukue, or take the Hiroshima-, Hakata-, or Shin-Osaka-bound Tōkaidō Shinkansen and get off at Shin-Yokohama [though note that Japan Rail Passes may not be used on Nozomi trains]. Naturally, these plans should be adjusted somewhat for those who are staying near stations other than Tokyo Station.” Become familiar with intercity rail options in the Greater Tokyo area in Ésteban Colberto Celebrates a Rouge with Katie Price’s Breasts.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, Prediction

FINDING OUT WHAT THE BLOGGERS KNOW

“This Phoenix flag capturing team should set itself alight in hopes of repeating the feat.” Laugh at an image of a flaming team in Finding Out What the Bloggers Know.

Keywords: Variety, Sport, Flag capturing, ACFL

THE NFL: ARRRGH!

“The Pro Bowl is played the weekend after the Super Bowl in Honolulu, since the league’s experiment with playing it before the Super Bowl will be a failure.” Be assured of how an all-star game will be received in The NFL: ARRRGH!.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, ARRRGH, American football

HOW TO IMPLEMENT RELEGATION

“MLS has not yet announced its competition plans for the following seasons, which is a horrible mistake, because the GoobNet Relegatory Agency is going to force plans onto it.” Wait for major sport leagues to be caught napping in How to Implement Relegation.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, ARRRGH, Football, MLS

CHANGE WE CAN KICK OFF TO

“Reject, and make clear to FIFA that when submitting change proposals to the IFAB, the stated reason must not be a bare assed lie.” Encourage Sepp Blatter to appear on The Moment of Truth in Change We Can Kick Off To.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football, FIFA

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