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WEEKLY WHINE

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A FIVE POINT ACTION PLAN

“In most countries, that’s primarily because the fans boycott, start fights, start riots, or set Vespas on fire if they don’t get their way.” Maintain public order in A Five Point Action Plan.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football

ICOSIPENTATHLON

“The benefit of this event is that it would be funny to see a tiny gymnast do a 720 on a skateboard, or to see the world’s top BMX cyclist eliminated from the competition because he overused the inside rein on a 20 metre circle in the dressage.” Consider the implications of broadening competitors’ horizons in Icosipentathlon.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Summer Olympics

WHOLLY EVIDENT

“We here at GoobNet are pleased to present to you this prediction of the teams’ final positions in several major European football leagues.” Enjoy the total accuracy and foreknowledge of the upcoming results of 26 different leagues in Wholly Evident.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

NO HORSES ALLOWED

“But for those of us whose rights haven’t been violated [yet], these Olympics were lots of fun.” Disregard the secret police who are following you around in No Horses Allowed.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics, Review committee

INTERACTION: IS THE OLYMPIC TRUCE DEAD?

“I wish we could have had 2,000 didgeridoo players in Sydney.” Reconsider things for people to do in Interaction: Is the Olympic Truce Dead?.

Keywords: Sport, Politics, Novelty, Interaction, Summer Olympics

WHOSE OPENING CEREMONY IS IT ANYWAY

“We’re going to do a scene, but everything we say has to be writable, in Chinese, with a certain number of brushstrokes.” See why not everything is on the same side in Whose Opening Ceremony Is It Anyway.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics, Whose Line

MAHORN: THE PEACEMAKER

“If you deem it progress when a female player dunks, you should also deem it progress when a female player throws a punch at an opponent.” See the social implications of behaviour in women’s sports in Mahorn: The Peacemaker.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Basketball, WNBA

CORRECTING YOUR MISTAKES

“A player who is the best in his league does not permit his team to reach the playoffs as a wild card and then lose in the first round.” See why it’s so easy for us to criticise other people’s decisions in Correcting Your Mistakes.

Keywords: Sport, Variety

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: DAVID STERN

“I didn’t know that you guys have your own Des Moines in Washington.” Experience the peculiarities of the US Pacific Northwest’s geography in Schmilblick Patrol: David Stern.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Basketball, NBA

WHO WILL TAKE THE FLAGPOLE?

“If you have not yet heard Mons’s team nickname, afford yourself a giggle, and then contemplate their likely quarterfinal meeting with the Flagfinders.” View more proof that anatomy is always funny in Who Will Take the Flagpole?.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Flag capturing, FCU Champions League, Prediction

OCTOPUSES OPTIONAL

“As you are no doubt well aware, the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network has been a huge success, which is to say, it exists.” Face facts by not facing facts in Octopuses Optional.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT

WHO OWNS YOUR TEAM?

“This obviously means that fans of all other teams should panic.” See why Shaquille O’Neal’s intellect isn’t the only thing that the NBA should fear in Who Owns Your Team?.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Novelty

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: TOM O’CONNOR

“I would have to say [bleep].” Don’t be afraid to say things they don’t want you to say in Schmilblick Patrol: Tom O’Connor.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Basketball

DUBAI REMAINS MOSTLY HARMLESS

“Philadelphia would have had reservations about scheduling these matches for the same weekend as the NFL’s conference championships, but luckily for all concerned, the Eagles will take a chance on Michael Vick in 2010 and will end up last in their division.” Enjoy our alternate sporting history in Dubai Remains Mostly Harmless.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, England, Prediction

CERTAINTY

“If any of these groups do not end up in this order at the end of 2008, we will punish our team of prognosticators by making them officiate a match between Perivia and Panagura.” Ensure that you packed your sunscreen in Certainty.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Prediction

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: DON GARBER

“How does one research graffiti?” Encounter some of the world’s most pointless professions in Schmilblick Patrol: Don Garber.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Football, MLS

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