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WEEKLY WHINE

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PERFORM THE DRAW THROUGH A STRAW

“This week, the draw for the 2018 Men’s World Cup will decide who will play whom in Russia.” Refuse to trust Gianni Infantino in Perform the Draw Through a Straw.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, Men’s World Cup, Interactive

THE BENDER B RODRIGUEZ BLACKJACK AND HOOKERS CUP

“Red totally counts as dark.” Realise that everything is 40% useless in The Bender B Rodriguez Blackjack and Hookers Cup.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football

A DIRECT INJECTION OF SODIUM CHLORIDE INTO THE OPEN WOUND

“It was a crushing disappointment to finish a mere thirty points behind Germany.” Heap scorn upon Andy Selva in preparation for A Direct Injection of Sodium Chloride Into the Open Wound.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Football, Men’s World Cup, Reverse Mailbox

COMMENTS REGARDING RECENT RUMOURS

“GoobNet is not yet endorsing anyone for the presidency of the Royal Dutch Football Association.” Tell Reg to make up his damn mind already in Comments Regarding Recent Rumours.

Keywords: Sport, Support, Administrivia, Football, United States, Netherlands

THE GOOBNET SPEED HOWLS WITH INCANDESCENT RAGE

“i wanna vomit, punch klinsmann in the face, cry, and get my coaching license” Tomorrow is another match, but be forewarned that today The GoobNet SPEED Howls with Incandescent Rage.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, SPEED, Football, Men’s World Cup, United States

RUSH TO MAKE ADJUSTMENTS

“To date this season, the Texans, Bengals, Rams, 49ers, Bears, Packers, Patriots, and Buccaneers have all helped the NFL enable Nike’s addiction to creating new and unusual kits.” Discover why nobody has ever tried that fabulous new idea in Rush to Make Adjustments.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, American football, NFL, Sport uniforms, Interactive

FULLY PREPARED FOR THE FUTURE

“We are fairly certain that we are going to have to do that.” Don your stray apparel and ensure that you are Fully Prepared for the Future.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Ice hockey, NHL

THE END OF AMBIGUITY

“And if they think we’re going to equip them with helmets or flak jackets, they have another thing coming.” Pay close attention to all announcements from Wen’s office in The End of Ambiguity.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

ENHANCED SIMILARITY

“You don’t need to watch any highlights, or look at any photo galleries, or see any studio analysis that explains in detail how and why Mali held Morocco to a goalless draw when just four days earlier they had lost to the very same opponent 6-0.” Blame Prof Ogden Wernstrom for any Enhanced Similarity.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT, Football, Men’s World Cup

HURL THE SPHERE AND STUMP EDVARD

“What the hell is a balk?” Fail to make a travesty of the game in Hurl the Sphere and Stump Edvard.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Edvard, Stump Edvard, Baseball

ADDITION OF EDITIONS

“All right! Enough! We don’t care any more! Just wear whatever you want! Leave us alone!” Get too much information in Addition of Editions.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Basketball, NBA, Sport uniforms

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: JAÏR KARAM

“Hello.” Meet someone who can really make a difference in Schmilblick Patrol: Jaïr Karam.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Football

HOW TO DEVELOP HELMETBALL

“Naturally, the press would immediately shorten that to the Trolls.” Help Kristoff find out where Anna’s got to this time in How to Develop Helmetball.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, NFL

THE FAIR WAY TO PLAY FAIR

“It has not actually written this definition; it has merely proposed that such a definition should exist.” Feel relieved that we are not discussing the word pornography in The Fair Way to Play Fair.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football

LOS ANGELES AGAIN ASKS WHY THE OLYMPICS ARE HERE

“What synchronised swimmer would not want to swim synchronously in the centre of a stadium filled with state of the art luxury boxes?” Conclude that synchronised swimming does not mean what we think it means in Los Angeles Again Asks Why the Olympics are Here.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics

LOS ANGELES AGAIN WELCOMES YOU TO THE OLYMPICS

“Assuming your arteries survive that, you will then have the opportunity to witness world class athletic competitions at world class venues, most of which already exist or are going to exist anyway.” Realise that kale is overrated as Los Angeles Again Welcomes You to the Olympics.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics

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