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THE INVERSE OF ZAPP BRANNIGAN

WEEKLY WHINE

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THE LATEST ON THE EARLIEST

“Here at the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network, we believe that when you use your television to view live satellite programming, the live programming you would like to see broadcast from satellites using your television includes such exciting things as runs, hits, errors, sculls, spikes, and stick checks.” Send in a large number of loud complaints about the lack of pistes in The Latest on the Earliest.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT

UNDER 20 MANAGERS EXIST

“The round of 16 begins tomorrow.” Feel immense relief that you do not have to sit through the round of 65,536 in Under 20 Managers Exist.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, Interactive

MAINTAIN APPEARANCES ON ALL SIDES

“We here at GoobNet are naturally thrilled at their use of the arched capital N.” Demand that everything is rendered in small caps in Maintain Appearances on All Sides.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, United States, Canada

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHAT THEN?

“Teams in Pot 1 and Pot 2 who had played one another in the seeding playoffs were allowed to be allocated to the same group.” Enable familiarity to breed contempt in Men’s World Cup Expansion: What Then?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup, Prediction

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHO, SPECIFICALLY?

“Edvard would like it to be known that he in no way endorses this prediction and is not willing to play any part in the jinx that we have just applied to the Netherlands.” See into the future with Oranje tinted lenses in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Who, Specifically?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup, Prediction

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHO?

“This expansion has been approved, though, which means that short of Gianni Infantino being visited by the Ghosts of Men’s World Cups Past, Present, and Yet to Come, the 2026 Men’s World Cup will be a large, ungainly beast of 80 matches in 32 days.” Meet Diego Maradona, Lionel Messi, and Christian Pulisic in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Who?.

Keywords: Support, SPEED, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHERE?

“In 2034, it will be the rest of the world’s turn.” Reward excellence in miscellany in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Where?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHY NOT?

“Let us turn our weakness into a strength.” Wear your Schwartz ring on the correct finger in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Why Not?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHY?

“Pay no attention to the teams who are playing for their tournament lives!” Feel the love in Slovenia in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Why?.

Keywords: Community, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup, Edvard

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: HOW?

“A Men’s World Cup made up of sixteen groups of three is not the worst thing they could possibly have done.” Form an exploratory committee to evaluate the impacts of changing to croquet in Men’s World Cup Expansion: How?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: SANDRA FRUEAN

“Why not just get a new television?” Upgrade your GoobNet experience in Schmilblick Patrol: Sandra Fruean.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Football, Men’s World Cup

RUSH TO STUMP EDVARD

“But at least it is going down in a blaze of colour.” Live in fear of the first ever grey v electric chartreuse game in Rush to Stump Edvard.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Edvard, Stump Edvard, American football, NFL, Sport uniforms

RUSH TO VISIBILITY

“We here at GoobNet thought that for an obvious cash grab, it was actually somewhat well executed.” Reach for the currency of your choice – provided it is not the 1,000 rupee note – in Rush to Visibility.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, American football, NFL, Sport uniforms, Interactive

COOL JUG EARS, RACE ME

“Nerd Balm: Sport It!” See why we totally need Jim Parsons as the pitchman for Cool Jug Ears, Race Me.

Keywords: Variety, Sport, Football, MLS

CHAMPIONS ALWAYS

“On Wednesday night, when the first leg of the final was to have been played in Medellín, candlelight vigils were instead held in Chapecoense’s stadium and in the home stadium of their final opponents, Atlético Nacional.” Go forward in all your beliefs, including the one that they are Champions Always.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Football, Brazil, Obituary

MAKE US SOCCER GREAT AGAIN

“I have never seen a birth certificate!” Realise that everything is sad, unfair, and sadly unfair, at least until we Make US Soccer Great Again.

Keywords: Sport, Politics, Variety, Football, United States

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