|71||Men’s World Cup|
|21||Women’s World Cup|
MON 11 APR 2011
“Nobody knows quite how this came about or why this is popular all of a sudden, but it is.” Explain the unexplainable in Look Forward to the Back Collar.
MON 04 APR 2011
“Which element, if removed from Earth, would cause the most disruption without resulting in the extinction of humanity?” Find out if we really do need our lithium in Administrative Notes for APR 2011.
Keywords: Support, Administrivia
MON 28 FEB 2011
“The challenge is enormous.” Discover what we will all be witnesses to in The Replacement.
MON 17 JAN 2011
“I heartily recommend creating this article and seeing how long it lasts before Wikipedia undergoes a total existence metacrisis.” Prove that everything we say is a lie – except that – and that – and that – and that – in Please Report All Exploding Whales.
MON 10 JAN 2011
“You know what you did, basketball.” Determine whether David Stern has any shame in We Too Avoid Heat’s Hotel.
MON 13 DEC 2010
“As we told them in last week’s board meeting, they’ll have plenty of room if they just tear down that huge eyesore that is the Coastal Towers.” Enjoy the postgame spread at the Tony Roma’s on Collins Av in Minimum Disruption, Maximum Excitement.
MON 22 NOV 2010
“In a marathon session that ran almost fifteen minutes, of which six were wasted because participants were suggesting names faster than Gaby could type them, the GoobNet Special Projects Enhancement and Enforcement Division [SPEED] has identified 64 potential names for your football club.” See if Stenography Kansas City appears in 64 Better Names.
MON 15 NOV 2010
“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a television network that carried thoughtful, in depth examinations of the upcoming events and trends that are most likely to affect you and the world around you?” Keep dreaming in Democracy: 50,000,000 Others Like This.
Keywords: Support, SPLUT
MON 23 AUG 2010
“Arkansas State moves from the Sun Belt to the South Central Conference [formerly the SEC West Division].” See why the Red Wolves will be pleased to be part of South Central in Let’s Realign.
MON 09 AUG 2010
“Sorry, University of Notre Dame.” Prepare for the possibility that the Irish will fight back in Collegiate American Football: ARRRGH!.
MON 31 MAY 2010
“It is a second tier capability receiving first tier billing.” See what mail merging has to do with Chivas USA in Getting the Most Out of Your Words.
MON 24 MAY 2010
“This is a good idea, but the home stripe should be red, not least because it will allow supporters to cry, ‘The red stripe is beer! Yay beer!’” See why you should be excited to find coloured graphic elements in Best Kits Evar!!!!!!.
MON 26 APR 2010
“But although we cover a comprehensive range of topics that affect everyone in the world, there are some stories that we regret we cannot give our customary full attention and insightful coverage to.” See why nobody ever asks us to produce their DVD special features in Prepare for the Hollyhock Revolution.
Keywords: Support, SPLUT
MON 29 MAR 2010
“None of this ‘special menus and tabs that are nowhere to be found until you’ve clicked on something’ bullshit.” Determine what you have to do to make our special opinions and remarks appear in Tools Please.
MON 22 MAR 2010
“So when you watch the sports programmes on the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network, you will likely be reminded of a crowded sports bar, in which thirty percent of people are watching game A and cheering for one of the teams involved, twenty percent are watching game B and cheering for one of the teams involved, twelve percent are watching game C and cheering for one of the teams involved, thirty one percent are watching any of games D through K and cheering for one of the teams involved, and the remaining seven percent are feigning interest in any of games A through K and pretending to cheer for one of the teams involved in hopes of hooking up with that one really hot fan of one of the teams involved in one of games A through K, the one who has been keeping up a really interesting conversation about breakfast foods and the local establishments that serve the best ones of each type, a conversation that has been interrupted every couple of minutes or faster with either a cheer of excitement or a groan of disappointment, and that member of the remaining seven percent has been nodding in agreement with the conversation, all whilst trying to react to that one of the teams involved in one of games A through K in the correct manner so that the one really hot member of the other ninety three percent won’t notice that anything is amiss and will totally go back to the home of that member of the remaining seven percent after that one of games A through K is over, but not to the home of that one really hot member of the other ninety three percent, because that member of the remaining seven percent is completely sure that the home of that one really hot member of the other ninety three percent is covered with posters and pictures of that team involved in that one of games A through K, and that member of the remaining seven percent is also completely sure that all those distractions are going to be completely irritating and will cause a loss of focus at the critical moment, thereby completely ending that member of the remaining seven percent’s chances with that one really hot member of the other ninety three percent, leaving that member of the remaining seven percent to rue the decision to go to the home of that one really hot member of the other ninety three percent rather than to host that one really hot member of the other ninety three percent and risk being found out as something less than a total freakish committed fan of that team involved in that one of games A through K.” Ask the guy behind the counter to turn on game L in Self Loathing.
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