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2018 GOOBNET WOMEN’S WINTER PARALYMPIC CHAMPIONSHIP: SEEDINGS

“We are pleased to announce the seeds for the first GoobNet Women’s Winter Paralympic Championship, determining the best female Paralympian of all time.” View the seeds for the first GoobNet Women’s Winter Paralympic Championship in 2018 GoobNet Women’s Winter Paralympic Championship: Seedings.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Tournament, Winter Paralympics

JASMINE’S THE PRICE IS RIGHT STRATEGY GUIDE: TEN CHANCES

“So let’s prepare ourselves for it.” Wisely sidestep all numerical challenges in Jasmine’s The Price Is Right Strategy Guide: Ten Chances.

Keywords: Support, SPEED, Game shows, Strategy

DISTRACTION

“We hope these will help you through the next 3.96 years of being forgotten about again.” Do your best to retain the knowledge that curling is in fact a sport that exists, even in the face of constant Distraction.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Winter Olympics, Review committee

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: ESTER LEDECKÁ

“I do not think you are making the most advantageous use of the limited number of queries that we have.” Maximise enjoyment and efficiency as you standardise your consumption of Schmilblick Patrol: Ester Ledecká.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Winter Olympics

THE EXISTENCE OF THE WINTER OLYMPICS

“Why do snowboards exist?” Realise that the answer is “because humans make them” in The Existence of the Winter Olympics.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Ontology, Winter Olympics

THE SUPER BOWL SWINGOMETER

“Well, that was an interesting Super Bowl.” Discover that we really do write these things months in advance and have no idea what actually happened yesterday in The Super Bowl Swingometer.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, NFL

JASMINE’S THE PRICE IS RIGHT STRATEGY GUIDE: COVER UP

“How, then, do you maximise the number of guesses?” Just keep saying numbers in Jasmine’s The Price Is Right Strategy Guide: Cover Up.

Keywords: Support, SPEED, Game shows, Strategy

THE FUTURE, AND WHY YOU SHOULD FEAR IT

“You can hide in your fear bunker and only read news that coincides with your preprogrammed worldview, but that has repeatedly been proven to make the future arrive suddenly without notice when you least expect it.” Watch the fakest fake news that ever faked the news in The Future, and Why You Should Fear It.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

ICE AND FIRE, BUT NO SINGING

“There was no official logo, but there was a poster depicting a giant eagle attacking some bobsledders, or something.” Watch out for snakes in Ice and Fire, but No Singing.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Winter Olympics

FASTEST FINGER FEST: WINTER OLYMPIC EDITION

“From snowboarding to sliding, from curling to hockey, from alpine skiing to ski jumping to freestyle skiing to cross country skiing, this will be the world’s largest winter party.” Find out whether Olaf is invited to the Fastest Finger Fest: Winter Olympic Edition.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Interactive, Game shows, Fastest Finger Fest, Winter Olympics

SILENCE BROKEN

“We would say that Earth is saying that enough is enough, but really, this is a case of Earth saying that way, way, way too much is enough.” Put your foot down in Silence Broken.

Keywords: Variety, Review committee

TOP LINES OF AN ETERNITY WITH NERDS

“Is there anything sadder? Only drowning puppies. And there would have to be a lot of them.” Shut up and get to the point of the Top Lines of an Eternity with Nerds.

Keywords: Variety, Futurama

JASMINE’S THE PRICE IS RIGHT STRATEGY GUIDE: LUCKY SEVEN

“Just say five and win the car.” Do not say R or buy a vowel in Jasmine’s The Price Is Right Strategy Guide: Lucky Seven.

Keywords: Support, SPEED, Game shows, Strategy

STUMP EDVARD WITHOUT PAYING TO PLAY

“I would also like to formally announce my endorsement of Wen’s description of my decision as a copout.” Stake your claim to “spineless wishy washy weaselling” in Stump Edvard Without Paying to Play.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Edvard, Stump Edvard, Football, United States

CALLING ALL PUNDITS

“The event featured speeches by the presidents of FIFA and of Russia, who are top contenders for the Corruption Cup.” Apply a sufficient quantity of palm grease in Calling All Pundits.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT, Football, Men’s World Cup

PERFORM THE DRAW THROUGH A STRAW

“This week, the draw for the 2018 Men’s World Cup will decide who will play whom in Russia.” Refuse to trust Gianni Infantino in Perform the Draw Through a Straw.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, Men’s World Cup, Interactive

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