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WEEKLY WHINE

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DROP IN ON SOME PLANETS

“The moons of Jupiter are also fascinating, but nobody is currently looking at them up close.” Realise that you should totally get up off your continent and Drop In on Some Planets.

Keywords: Space, Variety, Solar system

ENHANCED SIMILARITY

“You don’t need to watch any highlights, or look at any photo galleries, or see any studio analysis that explains in detail how and why Mali held Morocco to a goalless draw when just four days earlier they had lost to the very same opponent 6-0.” Blame Prof Ogden Wernstrom for any Enhanced Similarity.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT, Football, Men’s World Cup

HIT ME WITH A BUMPED SUPER BALL

“If you can subtract one number from another number, this pricing game is for you.” Show how edumacated you are as you Hit Me with a Bumped Super Ball.

Keywords: Variety, Game shows

JASMINE’S THE PRICE IS RIGHT STRATEGY GUIDE: CLOCK GAME

“At this point, you can make use of a trick that alarmingly few contestants employ.” Find out just how lucky the Lucky Drew Dollars are in Jasmine’s The Price Is Right Strategy Guide: Clock Game.

Keywords: Support, SPEED, Game shows, Strategy

TOP LINES OF THE WORLD OF TOMORROW

“It varies from person to person.” Forget the lunar lander and remember the Top Lines of the World of Tomorrow.

Keywords: Variety, Futurama

HURL THE SPHERE AND STUMP EDVARD

“What the hell is a balk?” Fail to make a travesty of the game in Hurl the Sphere and Stump Edvard.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Edvard, Stump Edvard, Baseball

MILA KUNIS SACRIFICES GINA RODRIGUEZ

“Well, good for you. That’s a real great opportunity for you. Great career move.” Discover the advantages of owning a modern set of encyclopædias in Mila Kunis Sacrifices Gina Rodriguez.

Keywords: Variety, Whose Line

LET US SOLVE AN UNSOLVED PROBLEM

“I wrote it in the margin of this website.” Discover that there was a reason all along for the incoherent football stuff being on the wrong side in Let Us Solve an Unsolved Problem.

Keywords: Mathematics, Community, Mailbox

ADDITION OF EDITIONS

“All right! Enough! We don’t care any more! Just wear whatever you want! Leave us alone!” Get too much information in Addition of Editions.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Basketball, NBA, Sport uniforms

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: JAÏR KARAM

“Hello.” Meet someone who can really make a difference in Schmilblick Patrol: Jaïr Karam.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Football

HOW TO DEVELOP HELMETBALL

“Naturally, the press would immediately shorten that to the Trolls.” Help Kristoff find out where Anna’s got to this time in How to Develop Helmetball.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, NFL

THE FAIR WAY TO PLAY FAIR

“It has not actually written this definition; it has merely proposed that such a definition should exist.” Feel relieved that we are not discussing the word pornography in The Fair Way to Play Fair.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football

WE APOLOGISE FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE CAUSED BY OUR PROGRAMMING

“Programming languages must come together on this and use elseif.” Solve all problems simultaneously in We Apologise for Any Inconvenience Caused By Our Programming.

Keywords: Computers, Variety

LOS ANGELES AGAIN ASKS WHY THE OLYMPICS ARE HERE

“What synchronised swimmer would not want to swim synchronously in the centre of a stadium filled with state of the art luxury boxes?” Conclude that synchronised swimming does not mean what we think it means in Los Angeles Again Asks Why the Olympics are Here.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics

LOS ANGELES AGAIN WELCOMES YOU TO THE OLYMPICS

“Assuming your arteries survive that, you will then have the opportunity to witness world class athletic competitions at world class venues, most of which already exist or are going to exist anyway.” Realise that kale is overrated as Los Angeles Again Welcomes You to the Olympics.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics

THE LATEST ON THE EARLIEST

“Here at the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network, we believe that when you use your television to view live satellite programming, the live programming you would like to see broadcast from satellites using your television includes such exciting things as runs, hits, errors, sculls, spikes, and stick checks.” Send in a large number of loud complaints about the lack of pistes in The Latest on the Earliest.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT

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