JUNK

Computer geek jokes

• Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
• COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
• BREAKFAST.EXE Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding.
• File not found. Should I make one up? [Y/N]
• CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Reboot Washington D.C.? [Y/N]
• SENILE.SYS found... Out of Memory...
• E-mail returned to sender – insufficient voltage.
• Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? [Yep/Nope]
• Why should you upgrade your processor? So you can reboot faster.
• Best file compression around: DEL *.* means 100% compression.
• Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
• RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
• DOS Tip: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to your CONFIG.SYS
• Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
• 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
• Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
• Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
• My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
• <––– The information went data way –––>
• The name is Baud, James Baud.
• Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups.
• An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
• Does fuzzy logic tickle?
• A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
• 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Pentium II.
• Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
• E Pluribus Modem
• Windows is just another pane in the glass.
• Who's General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
• All computers wait at the same speed.
• Go ahead, make my data!
• ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
• Help! I'm modeming and I can't hang up!
• All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
• BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 QUARTER=4 DOWN=3 YARDS=2 CALL="blue 48! set... hut!"
• Access denied – nah nah na nah nah!
• Bad command or file name. Go stand in the corner!
• Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay...
• Why doesn't DOS ever say Excellent command or filename?
• As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
• computer [n] 1. device designed to speed and automate errors
• Ethernet [n] 1. something used to catch the Etherbunny
• mainframe [n] 1. biggest PC peripheral available
• upgrade [v] 1. to take out old bugs and put in new ones
• Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
• Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
• Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
• Press any key... except THAT one!
• Press [Ctrl]-[Alt]-[Del] to continue...

And finally...

• "640K ought to be enough for anybody." – Bill Gates, 1981

– Author unknown