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JUNK

Computer geek jokes

  • Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
  • COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
  • BREAKFAST.EXE Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding.
  • File not found. Should I make one up? [Y/N]
  • CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Reboot Washington D.C.? [Y/N]
  • SENILE.SYS found... Out of Memory...
  • E-mail returned to sender – insufficient voltage.
  • Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? [Yep/Nope]
  • Why should you upgrade your processor? So you can reboot faster.
  • Best file compression around: DEL *.* means 100% compression.
  • Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
  • RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
  • DOS Tip: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to your CONFIG.SYS
  • Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
  • 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
  • Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
  • Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
  • My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
  • <––– The information went data way –––>
  • The name is Baud, James Baud.
  • Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups.
  • An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
  • Does fuzzy logic tickle?
  • A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
  • 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Pentium II.
  • Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
  • E Pluribus Modem
  • Windows is just another pane in the glass.
  • Who's General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
  • All computers wait at the same speed.
  • Go ahead, make my data!
  • ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
  • Help! I'm modeming and I can't hang up!
  • All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
  • BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 QUARTER=4 DOWN=3 YARDS=2 CALL="blue 48! set... hut!"
  • Access denied – nah nah na nah nah!
  • Bad command or file name. Go stand in the corner!
  • Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay...
  • Why doesn't DOS ever say Excellent command or filename?
  • As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
  • computer [n] 1. device designed to speed and automate errors
  • Ethernet [n] 1. something used to catch the Etherbunny
  • mainframe [n] 1. biggest PC peripheral available
  • upgrade [v] 1. to take out old bugs and put in new ones
  • Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
  • Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
  • Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
  • Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
  • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
  • Press any key... except THAT one!
  • Press [Ctrl]-[Alt]-[Del] to continue...

And finally...

  • "640K ought to be enough for anybody." – Bill Gates, 1981

– Author unknown

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