THE INVERSE OF ZAPP BRANNIGAN
Computer geek jokes
- Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
- COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
- BREAKFAST.EXE Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding.
- File not found. Should I make one up? [Y/N]
- CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Reboot Washington D.C.? [Y/N]
- SENILE.SYS found... Out of Memory...
- E-mail returned to sender – insufficient voltage.
- Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? [Yep/Nope]
- Why should you upgrade your processor? So you can reboot faster.
- Best file compression around: DEL *.* means 100% compression.
- Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
- RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
- DOS Tip: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to your CONFIG.SYS
- Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
- 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
- Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
- Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
- My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
- <––– The information went data way –––>
- The name is Baud, James Baud.
- Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups.
- An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
- Does fuzzy logic tickle?
- A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
- 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Pentium II.
- Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
- E Pluribus Modem
- Windows is just another pane in the glass.
- Who's General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
- All computers wait at the same speed.
- Go ahead, make my data!
- ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
- Help! I'm modeming and I can't hang up!
- All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
- BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 QUARTER=4 DOWN=3 YARDS=2 CALL="blue 48! set... hut!"
- Access denied – nah nah na nah nah!
- Bad command or file name. Go stand in the corner!
- Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay...
- Why doesn't DOS ever say Excellent command or filename?
- As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
- computer [n] 1. device designed to speed and automate errors
- Ethernet [n] 1. something used to catch the Etherbunny
- mainframe [n] 1. biggest PC peripheral available
- upgrade [v] 1. to take out old bugs and put in new ones
- Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
- Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
- Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
- Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
- Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
- Press any key... except THAT one!
- Press [Ctrl]-[Alt]-[Del] to continue...
- "640K ought to be enough for anybody." – Bill Gates, 1981
– Author unknown
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