MON 16 JUL 2018
“In a tournament that set a record with twelve own goals, one of them in the final, how can we decide who receives the coveted Jeff Agoos ¡Autogolazo! Award?” Take to the streets in outrage that your favoured candidate did not receive the Golden Blindfold in The Wrongest Penalty in the History of Wrongness.
MON 09 JUL 2018
“The fact that this squad have not yet been brought down to Earth in horribly crushing fashion does not mean that it will not happen.” Watch the semifinals from your panic bunker in A Brief Look Ahead.
MON 02 JUL 2018
“What are we doing here?” Eagerly anticipate the spectacle of Luis Suárez answering the great questions of our time, which for all you know occurred on Interaction: Men’s World Cup Video Screens.
MON 25 JUN 2018
“Well, obviously, we here at GoobNet totally know the answer to that.” Experience immense regret at not having taken the blue pill in The Matrices.
MON 18 JUN 2018
“At the Men’s World Cup, each team has two kits.” Take the GoobNet Men’s World Cup Change Kit Challenge in The GoobNet Men’s World Cup Change Kit Challenge.
MON 11 JUN 2018
“Some of the other unforgettable moments include Ethan Horvath’s acrobatic save of a Justin Kluivert header in the United States’ wild 5-4 loss to the Netherlands, the semifinal goal by Italy’s Jorginho that was disallowed after a tense fifty two minute video review, and the infamous press conference in which Robert Mancini denounced the corruption of the organisers of the Bender B Rodriguez Blackjack and Hookers Cup and announced that Italy were going to stage their own tournament, only to later conclude that both the tournament and the blackjack were to be discontinued, and, upon further reflection, so was the entire thing.” Realise that nothing is a complete load, not if you can imagine the Results of the Bender B Rodriguez Blackjack and Hookers Cup.
MON 04 JUN 2018
“Employees watching the matches instead of getting shit done cause billions of dollars in lost productivity, but FIFA takes in billions of dollars on television rights and other merchandising, so it all works out.” Use your television to view satellite programming live in Men’s World Cup: Whatever Happened To....
MON 28 MAY 2018
“They have never been top flight champions.” Avoid yoyoing in Football League: Whatever Happened To....
MON 21 MAY 2018
“Luckily, we here at GoobNet do not limit ourselves to reality.” Reject our reality and substitute your own in Rush to Keep Trying.
MON 14 MAY 2018
“Wisconsin won the Rose Bowl 17-9!” Save the good algebra for the final minutes of the Top Lines That Are 999,999 in a Million.
MON 07 MAY 2018
“If you’re not sure, avoid putting the least expensive item at the bottom.” Keep the soup out of the mailbox in Jasmine’s The Price Is Right Strategy Guide: If You’re Not Sure....
MON 30 APR 2018
“Once you have all twelve correct, you will advance to our exciting new bonus round, Beat Don Garber.” Determine whether that totally was or totally was not endangering the safety of the opponent in MLS Kits Exist.
MON 23 APR 2018
“All known lifeforms require a nonzero amount of water, and the vast majority of Earth’s biodiversity is aquatic.” Live in hydrodynamic equilibrium with our planet in Oceans That Make a Difference.
MON 16 APR 2018
“If you’re not sure, just guess US$3,000.” Say the secret word, which is totally not banana, in Jasmine’s The Price Is Right Strategy Guide: Unwritten Rules.
MON 09 APR 2018
“And it will all happen once I obtain sufficient funding to turn my Winnebago into a spaceship in accordance with the instructions I received in a dream!” Listen to the latest herenow noizebop from Razor and the Scummettes in Stump Edvard and Win a Trip to Mars.
PLEASE SEND ALL IRRELEVANT DETAILS TO <GOOBNET@GOOBNET.NET>
© 2018 GOOBNET ENTERPRISES, INC [WHICH DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST HOWEVER]
THIS FILE ACCURATE AS OF: MON 16 JUL 2018 – 12:00:00 UTC · GENERATED IN 0.039 SECONDS
all times in Coordinated Universal Time