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WEEKLY WHINE

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THE WRONGEST PENALTY IN THE HISTORY OF WRONGNESS

“In a tournament that set a record with twelve own goals, one of them in the final, how can we decide who receives the coveted Jeff Agoos ¡Autogolazo! Award?” Take to the streets in outrage that your favoured candidate did not receive the Golden Blindfold in The Wrongest Penalty in the History of Wrongness.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Review committee

A BRIEF LOOK AHEAD

“The fact that this squad have not yet been brought down to Earth in horribly crushing fashion does not mean that it will not happen.” Watch the semifinals from your panic bunker in A Brief Look Ahead.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup

INTERACTION: MEN’S WORLD CUP VIDEO SCREENS

“What are we doing here?” Eagerly anticipate the spectacle of Luis Suárez answering the great questions of our time, which for all you know occurred on Interaction: Men’s World Cup Video Screens.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Interaction, Football, Men’s World Cup

THE MATRICES

“Well, obviously, we here at GoobNet totally know the answer to that.” Experience immense regret at not having taken the blue pill in The Matrices.

Keywords: Knowledge, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup

THE GOOBNET MEN’S WORLD CUP CHANGE KIT CHALLENGE

“At the Men’s World Cup, each team has two kits.” Take the GoobNet Men’s World Cup Change Kit Challenge in The GoobNet Men’s World Cup Change Kit Challenge.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, Men’s World Cup, Sport uniforms, Interactive

RESULTS OF THE BENDER B RODRIGUEZ BLACKJACK AND HOOKERS CUP

“Some of the other unforgettable moments include Ethan Horvath’s acrobatic save of a Justin Kluivert header in the United States’ wild 5-4 loss to the Netherlands, the semifinal goal by Italy’s Jorginho that was disallowed after a tense fifty two minute video review, and the infamous press conference in which Robert Mancini denounced the corruption of the organisers of the Bender B Rodriguez Blackjack and Hookers Cup and announced that Italy were going to stage their own tournament, only to later conclude that both the tournament and the blackjack were to be discontinued, and, upon further reflection, so was the entire thing.” Realise that nothing is a complete load, not if you can imagine the Results of the Bender B Rodriguez Blackjack and Hookers Cup.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football

MEN’S WORLD CUP: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO...

“Employees watching the matches instead of getting shit done cause billions of dollars in lost productivity, but FIFA takes in billions of dollars on television rights and other merchandising, so it all works out.” Use your television to view satellite programming live in Men’s World Cup: Whatever Happened To....

Keywords: Sport, Knowledge, Football, Men’s World Cup

FOOTBALL LEAGUE: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO...

“They have never been top flight champions.” Avoid yoyoing in Football League: Whatever Happened To....

Keywords: Sport, Knowledge, Football, England

RUSH TO KEEP TRYING

“Luckily, we here at GoobNet do not limit ourselves to reality.” Reject our reality and substitute your own in Rush to Keep Trying.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, American football, NFL, Sport uniforms, Interactive

TOP LINES THAT ARE 999,999 IN A MILLION

“Wisconsin won the Rose Bowl 17-9!” Save the good algebra for the final minutes of the Top Lines That Are 999,999 in a Million.

Keywords: Variety, Futurama

JASMINE’S THE PRICE IS RIGHT STRATEGY GUIDE: IF YOU’RE NOT SURE...

“If you’re not sure, avoid putting the least expensive item at the bottom.” Keep the soup out of the mailbox in Jasmine’s The Price Is Right Strategy Guide: If You’re Not Sure....

Keywords: Support, SPEED, Game shows, Strategy

MLS KITS EXIST

“Once you have all twelve correct, you will advance to our exciting new bonus round, Beat Don Garber.” Determine whether that totally was or totally was not endangering the safety of the opponent in MLS Kits Exist.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, MLS, Interactive

OCEANS THAT MAKE A DIFFERENCE

“All known lifeforms require a nonzero amount of water, and the vast majority of Earth’s biodiversity is aquatic.” Live in hydrodynamic equilibrium with our planet in Oceans That Make a Difference.

Keywords: Variety, Oceanography

JASMINE’S THE PRICE IS RIGHT STRATEGY GUIDE: UNWRITTEN RULES

“If you’re not sure, just guess US$3,000.” Say the secret word, which is totally not banana, in Jasmine’s The Price Is Right Strategy Guide: Unwritten Rules.

Keywords: Support, SPEED, Game shows, Strategy

STUMP EDVARD AND WIN A TRIP TO MARS

“And it will all happen once I obtain sufficient funding to turn my Winnebago into a spaceship in accordance with the instructions I received in a dream!” Listen to the latest herenow noizebop from Razor and the Scummettes in Stump Edvard and Win a Trip to Mars.

Keywords: Space, Community, Edvard, Stump Edvard, Solar system, Mars

ON THE ORIGIN OF BRACKETS

“Oh, those sirens. Merely a precaution.” Pay no attention to those conspiracy hypotheses on Reddit in On the Origin of Brackets.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Basketball

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