Dis-n-dat

These days, it's easy to insult people. There's millions of ways, from the multitude of "yo mama" jokes to the succinct "F*** you!" Whichever type you prefer, I just ask that you keep it to a minimum. Usually, these things have no factual basis whatsoever. No matter who says something about your mother and no matter what they say, the quick response is: "Have you met my mother?" Unless, of course, the insulter has. Anyway, it's more betterer to treat this case as an aberration and focus on the frequent case of useless/idle insults.

Here now is a variety of threats/insults and easy ways to counter them.

Insult	Response
Yo mama...	Sure, but she [sent/is gonna send] me to college, and I fully respect her.
You're a...	Yes, I know.
Bite me.	I don't know..., do you come with gravy?
What's with your hair?	It's [insert your hair color here]. Isn't that obvious?
Nice [article of clothing]. Where'd you get it, [K-Mart/Wal-Mart/...]?	Actually, it's from World of Spiffy Stuff.
[any kind of criticism]	That's good to know.
Do you enjoy being a loser?	I don't know, what's it like?
I'm gonna...	Nah, you just need to take a walk, you know, get some fresh air.
You're confusing me.	Remember to phrase your answer in the form of a question.
You're scaring me.	I think you're just having some trouble at home. This is really misplaced anger.
And my personal favorite...
[anything involving four-letter words]	Could you be more specific?

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