WEEKLY WHINE

Humor me

There are some people who don't want anything to get in the way, people who have to remain focused constantly, people who don't have time for trivialities. These people are losers.

Let's talk Kenneth Starr. Have you ever seen him on Saturday Night Live? How about Late Night with Conan O'Brien? The Rosie O'Donnell Show? Have you seen him on BET Tonight? NBA Inside Stuff? Didn't think so. Know why? He's all secluded and stuff. He doesn't like to have fun or talk to interesting people or to slam himself in front of a national tellyvision audience. No, he just likes to continually expand his range until Janet Reno challenges him and he has to admit that he doesn't like Bill Clinton because twenty-five years ago they bumped into one another and Clinton didn't say "Excuse me" or something moronic like that.

And that's why nobody likes Starr. He's boring! We like people who are not boring. We like people who are fun. We like people who go onto any talk show with a good plan: making themselves look weird. Note that that's different from the guests that Jerry Springer has. Those folks make themselves look like temperamental vicious psychotic morons. That would be a good movie title. I would pay $27, or however much a ticket costs these days, to see a flick called Temperamental Vicious Psychotic Morons. But that's not the point.

I got so far away from the point that I have to start another paragraph just to get back to it. The paragraph change is a point to get back on track, a place to reset and get back to the original purpose. Rats.

That's better. My point is that we must be entertained. We need interesting stuff. Usually, that comes in humor and/or comedy. That's one of your generally overlooked film categories. You have your action, your mystery, your suspense, your drama, your documentary, but you don't always have your comedy. Try this: Which of these doesn't fit: Casablanca, It's a Wonderful Life, The Sound of Music, Monty Python and the Holy Grail? If you said It's a Wonderful Life, your case must be It's a Severely Deranged Life.

And that's what we need. We need funny stuff, not just interesting stuff. Funny things are unappreciated so often in this society, and when they are appreciated, it's only when they have six new episodes left because their star didn't want to do it anymore, even though NBC offered him a room filled with cash. A fairly large room, from what I hear. Laughs and stuff are what makes things operate correctly. It's also quite beneficial in the bedroom, but you didn't hear that from me.

Anyway, ask yourself this: How often do you rent a funny movie just because you need something funny? Tell the truth. Well, I guess you really can't lie to yourself, because you know the truth, even if you're in denial. Anyway, I suggest you tune in to something funny just because. If your excuse is "Goob said so", wonderful. Also tell them "https://goobnet.net/". Also say I said hi.

All of this is a direct result of the work I'm involved with over at WestWeb, the official site of my school. If you visit it and think it's stupid, either 1] You're visiting before we changed it, and therefore it is stupid, or 2] You're visiting after we changed it, and therefore you didn't go to the humor page, assuming we actually do establish one. Anyway, the other seniors on the committee proposed a humor page in the style of this very site, so therefore I am quite honored. Or something.

So that's why we need humor - it brings people to a site. Worked here, didn't it? I thought so. If you want humor on this site, and you're not finding it here, try finding it here.

Now let me finish with the eight most bestest funny, weird, silly, or spoofy movies I can think of at this particular moment that I've seen.

	Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach
	The Princess Bride
	Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol
	UHF
	Airplane!
	Hot Shots!
	Spaceballs
	Monty Python and the Holy Grail

If you disagree with the placement, or you want to tell me to see a movie so I can demote the ones that should go behind it, you know what to do.

Oh you don't? Well you're supposed to do this.