|71||Men’s World Cup|
|21||Women’s World Cup|
MON 01 APR 2019
“Taking part in these challenges will help you engage your cerebral cortex, a skill that is frequently lacking in far too many of you humans.” Make your brain hurt in The Solution to Reality.
MON 16 OCT 2017
“i wanna vomit, punch klinsmann in the face, cry, and get my coaching license” Tomorrow is another match, but be forewarned that today The GoobNet SPEED Howls with Incandescent Rage.
MON 28 NOV 2016
“Shortly after the pizza arrived, they emerged with a plan.” Quantify the importance of pepperoni in Vote for the Voters.
MON 31 OCT 2016
“So what should you do?” Put on some pants and review your Guide to 2016 US Ballot Measures.
MON 23 MAY 2016
“A knowing smile appears on Amber Lynn’s face.” Turn away and slam the door as you ask Should Elsa Be Given a Girlfriend?.
MON 18 APR 2016
“These are the exact same things the male players do, and the female players are working just as hard at it.” Do the right thing in Female Footballers and Funding.
MON 13 APR 2015
“At last, we have reached the long sought after utopia where the same foul results in the same penalty regardless of when during the game it occurs.” Win causality in The Solution to Basketball.
MON 17 NOV 2014
“FIFA still appears to believe that corruption is composed only of explicit bribery and quid pro quo deals.” Realise that you don’t want to know who is scratching Sepp Blatter’s back in Solutions for the Game.
MON 10 NOV 2014
“We here at GoobNet are obviously going to have to reassess whether we will continue to provide this service to you in future.” Influence Reg’s decision making process by fixing his Jump to Conclusions mat in Results of 2014 US Ballot Measures.
MON 03 NOV 2014
“GoobNet recommends a no vote and reminds the people of Rhode Island that they have a legislature.” Live in abject fear of the day that Mr Griffin goes to Providence in Guide to 2014 US Ballot Measures.
MON 22 SEP 2014
“That was probably a miscalculation on your part, but still, thanks.” Avoid making the same mistake that Jack Warner made in European Football: ARRRGH!.
MON 08 SEP 2014
“This obviously has nothing to do with the stated purpose of copyright law, which is to encourage authors to create works and to make those works available to the public.” Realise that you really don’t want to know what encouraged us to create GoobNet in GoobNet Solves Copyrights.
MON 05 MAY 2014
“But sport is not a capitalist society.” Come to the conclusion that everything you know is wrong in Strikes.
MON 18 NOV 2013
“We are sure that he will be extraordinarily successful in this role.” Be prepared to follow his every move in Neil deGrasse Tyson Honoured as First Scientist Laureate.
MON 02 SEP 2013
“The winner will be honoured as the first ever Scientist Laureate and will leave immediately for the nineteen public appearances required of the winner.” Don’t miss a special guest appearance on Whose Line Is It Anyway in Voting for Scientist Laureate Now Open.
PLEASE SEND ALL CONDESCENDING CORRECTIONS TO <GOOBNET@GOOBNET.NET>
© 2019 GOOBNET ENTERPRISES, INC [WHICH DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST HOWEVER]
THIS FILE ACCURATE AS OF: FRI 15 NOV 2019 – 23:17:38 UTC · GENERATED IN 0.049 SECONDS