WEEKLY WHINE

The ratios

Being at Caltech for even a short time instantly begins talk of The Ratio. Not cool ratios like π, the ratio of circumference to diameter, or ϕ, the ratio of sides of the Golden Rectangle, but The Ratio. Many Techers, especially those who know me well, know this ratio. Among the undergrad population, there are three males to every female, identified in shorthand as The Ratio. However, in some cases, you see distortion of the Ratio. I, as well as a good friend, are each prone to distorting the Ratio in a localised region of spacetime such that it goes from 3:1 to 1:1 or 3:5. Sometimes it can be inverted to 1:3, and in extreme cases it extends beyond 1:5. It's obvious that these are not the only important ratios in daily life. Here, then, is a look at these ratios, given in simplest form. Translation: 1:1 doesn't mean one of each thing, it just means equally many of each thing.

1:1 Dollars spent to dollars earned early in Microsoft's existence.

1:5 Dollars spent to dollars earned later in Microsoft's existence.

1:10 A bit later.

1:10⁶ Does this seem even close to its present situation?

1:2 Makes to three point attempts, approximately, over Steve Kerr's NBA career.

1:2 Makes to free throw attempts, approximately, over Shaquille O'Neal's NBA career.

1:400 Techers who are actually aware of events in the outside world to the others, approximately.

7:1 Old Senators to old former Senators. Senators never fade away, they just die right after they're reelected.

10,000:1 Dollars spent on bug fixing to bugs fixed in Windows 3.1.

20,000:1 Dollars spent on bug fixing to bugs fixed in Windows 95.

75,000:1 Dollars spent on bug fixing to bugs fixed in Windows NT 4.0.

>10⁹:1 They fixed bugs in Windows 98? You could have fooled me.

1:50 Movies that refer to Caltech by name to those that make up something like "Pacific Tech".

1:1 California voters in favor of impeachment to those in favor of Proposition 2.

7:1 Prelaw majors to sensual massage majors, according to a nationwide college survey.

Indeterminate Prelaw majors to sensual massage majors at Caltech.