WEEKLY WHINE

Business as usual

Zounds. It's time to do serious business. The true business is actually nothing at all. People who don't know what it is about which they are talking are often the ones who do business. I now give a few examples that I've experienced through the years. Note: Some of them have been paraphrased, so watch out for that.

Random people: "You win some, you lose some. Actually, you win some, you lose a hell of a lot."

Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish: "Life is like a grapefruit.... Some people have half a one for breakfast."

Melissa Todd: "You're a girl."

Many Techers: "Bi1 is just, 'Okay, we know you don't like biology. So instead, we'll make it look fun by teaching you the physics and chemistry of biology.'"

Al Gore: "I invented the Internet."

Yury Goldfeld: "Did you say 'maths'?"

John Candy, Spaceballs: "Funny, she doesn't look Druish."

Ayeh Bandeh-Ahmadi: "You have to let the Valley girl inside you glow."

Bev Karhson: "What up?"

Jessica S Brown: "You have to have the ball, or else you can't win."

Mark Margolis, π: "Stop thinking, Max. Just feel."

Phil Hartman, NewsRadio: "It's frizappy!"

Me: "I ain't letting nobody inside me glow."

Gray Rybka: "Look, kids! They're organelles, but they have their own DNA! Isn't that cool?"

Rob Cooke: "Mmmm, an electron!"

Pamela Hart, π: "You tech guys. I think you know what we want."

Many, many Techers: "I hate Bi1! Bi1 sucks! Why is Bi1 core? It's terrible! It sucks so bad!"

Me: "No, you don't need munbers! You can do it without munbers!"

Derek M Shannon: "Chicks dig the Mars Society!"

Some cabdriver, Coming to America: "If there's one thing Queens has got a lot of, it's common parts."