WEEKLY WHINE

UGH or no UGH?

How do you spell "doughnut"? Do you spell it "donut"? ASCIT does. [Then again, they use their name as a verb.] Krispy Kreme spells it "doughnut". [Of course, they spell "cream" with a K and no A.] Winchell's spells it "donut". [But they think a dozen is 14.]

A doughnut is an amusing food item. It's toroidal bread. The difference between doughnuts and bagels is that bagels are supposedly healthier. Doughnuts are toroidal bread with immense quantities of sugar. One problem that always baffles graduate students in chemistry is this: "How can a doughnut exist if its sugar/bread ratio is above Klein's Limit?"

This problem is more complex than it appears. Klein's Limit is based upon the assumption that sugar reduces the coherence of a bread. There is quite a bit of experimental evidence to support this hypothesis. You can even observe this effect at home: Take your favourite cookie recipe, and adjust the amount of sugar. Instead of one cup or whatever the recipe calls for, throw in the entire bag. Then continue the recipe as normal. The cookies will not be good. Now repeat the process with less sugar. Continue until the cookies are good. You have now determined Klein's Limit.

A typical doughnut, though, is in the area of 50% sugar by mass. Klein's Limit is about 32%. This is presumably why it is hard to make a good doughnut - the formulas used in the derivation of Klein's Limit don't apply to all bread recipes, and many doughnut recipes appear to fall outside the range to which Klein's Limit applies. However, the particular formulas in question are relatively recent, so not enough is known about their relevance to doughnuts.

The standard doughnut is quite simple. It is raised and glazed. This, however, is only the beginning of the story; a wide variety of doughnuts exist. Instead of toroids, many doughnuts are highly oblate spheroids that are hollowed and filled with something, typically jelly or some sort of cream. Powdered or grained sugar can replace glaze. There also exists the buttermilk bar, a device that doesn't really have a lot to do with doughnuts, but it can be covered with the same types of sugar, so in that respect, it qualifies as a doughnut.

Other flavourings, like chocolate, are also common. The dough itself can be chocolatized, or a covering of chocolate may be applied. More shapes are possible: twists, crullers, and bars are the most prevalent of these alternative doughnuts. Finally, there is the fruit. The Donut Man in Glendale specializes in the strawberry doughnut, as long as strawberries are in season. He's also got peach doughnuts and a couple of other fruits.

Southern California likes its doughnuts. There are a few Krispy Kreme establishments in the area, which are seemingly busy at all hours. Doughnut shops, like gasoline stations, are usually open throughout the day. This behavior is observed for one primary reason: culture doesn't care when you eat your doughnut. Other breakfast foods are treated differently. When was the last time you had a waffle outside of 06:00-12:00 local time? Doughnuts, however, can be eaten at any time. What is more, there are enough forms that most people can find something good. Variety even exists in the spelling, so if you don't want a "doughnut", maybe you'll like a "donut".