WEEKLY WHINE

View the future through tiny little windows

Have you ever noticed how stupid and vague the "advice" listed in horoscopes is?

If not, just be a dear and play along for a sec. Thanks.

Nonetheless, people still seem to act upon such advice. Why? Who knows? By now it should be abundantly clear that the things that will happen to you cannot be forecast using the propagation of orbital elements around a central body; they can be forecast using which space exploration goal you think we should set for ourselves.

Remember: If you don't like your prediction, go to another space organisation's conference.

SETTLE THE MOON
You are a fan of nuclear fusion, particularly the D-³He variety. You prefer to get your hands dirty and dig down into the heart of the matter. You hope to someday sell Al Bean's silver astronaut pin, Al Shepard's golf ball, and Jack Schmitt's hammer on E-Bay. However, you will not find any of these objects, because you'll be stationed on the far side. Your lucky launch vehicle is the Saturn V, which of course is no longer in production.

SETTLE MARS
You are a fan of really big solar arrays. That is, until you get tasked with cleaning them. You are eagerly anticipating the next opportunity to create T shirts reading "Earth Invades Mars". Your lucky launch vehicle hasn't been designed yet.

SETTLE AN ASTEROID
You are a fan of blue collars, motorcycles, and handholds. You are eagerly anticipating the next opportunity to hack out a big rock for the raw materials, particularly because asteroids have no ecologies to protect. Your lucky albedo is .08.

SETTLE A SPACE COLONY
You are a fan of cylinders. However, you'll be in for a surprise when you discover that the Coriolis forces don't work as they do on Earth. But you'll soon get used to it, and you'll even take advantage of it by running spinward for the increased apparent weight.

BUILD SPACE HOTELS
You have more money than you know what to do with. Here's a tip: Spend some of that money on developing a better launch vehicle.

BUILD A DYSON SPHERE
You have more energy than you know what to do with. Here's a tip: Spend some of that energy on developing more efficient engines.

BUILD A RINGWORLD
You haven't quite grasped the idea that a ringworld is unstable. Either that or you've found some way to generate fuel for the thrusters.

DO ALL OF THESE
Everybody likes you.

AVOID SPACE
Nobody likes you.