WEEKLY WHINE

The French seal of approval

Yesterday Major League Soccer opened up the second stadium that it has all to itself. We sent a team there to investigate. However, this being Los Angeles, CA, USA, we got stuck in traffic.

But we still arrived in time to see Pelé meet the starting lineups and participate in the ceremonial coin flip. After that was out of the way, it was time for some football.

The football stadium is only one component of the Home Depot Center, a complicated venue upon the campus of California State University Dominguez Hills that also includes tennis and athletics stadia, an indoor velodrome, and a number of practice fields and courts. Though the place opened last weekend with a track meet, this weekend's match involving the Los Angeles "There's No Place Like a Home That Doesn't Have Yard Lines on It" Galaxy and the Colorado "Chris Carrieri v the World" Rapids was the real attraction.

Want to know how big this was? The guy next to us came all the way from Chicago, IL to see this match instead of going to Washington, DC to see his Fire lose to United.

Sett, with whom I visited the day's match, is from France, but he's okay really. He even used to play football on a pitch next to the practice pitch used by storied club Paris Saint-Germain.

We entered the stadium just a couple of minutes before kickoff, and massive boom-boom-whack sounds were already emanating from the upper deck. Note to future stadium builders: Build as many seats as possible on metal instead of concrete, so that seismologists will be able to detect the P waves emanating from the stomping feet.

Finally, Colorado kicked off, and a new era in football began. Or something. It looked like every other kickoff I'd ever seen. Of course, I have to admit that the noisy spectators made it sound different.

Remember the 1999 Women's World Cup final? It seemed like some of the fans didn't really get it, right? For instance, there was someone in my section who actually shouted at someone to sit down. During overtime. Of a World Cup fricking final.

This time, though, the fans were immersed in the action. Here's how to identify a good crowd. Wait for an occasion in which someone on the home side falls down and the referee correctly makes no call. Do they boo anyway? We're pleased to report that this happened on at least two occasions.

The Galaxy controlled the ball for much of the match, limiting Colorado to only two shots on goal. LA took ten themselves, a week after taking none whatsoever as they lost at Colorado [or "Inter Denver" as I like to call them] 1-0. But this week, the Galaxy not only pounced on nearly every loose ball, they took nearly all of them into the Rapids' area.

Unfortunately, the Galaxy took some wild shots, especially in the first half. Everyone so badly wanted to be the First Goalscorer at the Home Depot Center, a name that would live forever. Well, okay. His name may live forever, but not for that reason.

As the first half wound down, LA midfielder Ezra Hendrickson crossed a ball to the far post and forward Carlos Ruiz, last year's leading goalscorer in MLS. Ruiz fired a strong bicycle kick, but it went directly into the arms of Rapids goalkeeper Scott Garlick. We in the stands would have gone nuts had that shot succeeded. Really. As in actual clinical insanity. You know, incoherent shouting, strange behaviour, inadvertently thrusting our fists into one another's jaws, the whole bit.

Whilst we're on the subject, MLS must add the following rule: If you catch a ball, it's yours. Period. It's already out of play anyway - what's the harm? After all, why do so many people go to baseball games? Because Derek Jeter is dreamy? [Not that there's anything wrong with that.]

At halftime, George W "Soccer? Isn't that what you play if you're too small for football?" Bush left a message saying hi. And yes, he did use the "And may God continue to bless America" line.

But in the 50th minute someone did score the First Goal in Home Depot Center History. Just guess who it was. Go ahead. Make a guess.

What's that? Last year's Guatemalan of the year according to a leading newspaper in that country? Yes.

The man they call "El Pescadito" because of his preference for small servings of seafood, Carlos Ruiz, was in the right place at the right time. The right place was within six yards of the Colorado goal. The right time was immediately after LA midfielder Simon "No, the Rugby Guys Are the All Blacks" Elliott had a shot deflected by Garlick. The rebound went directly at Ruiz's forehead. Ruiz, saying "I have you now!" like Darth Vader in the original Star Wars movie, aimed and fired. But unlike Darth Vader in the original Star Wars movie, it worked.

Luckily for us, we were sitting right in the confetti zone. The confetti, however, was teal and gold, whereas the Galaxy's colours are now green and gold. Oops!

Rapids midfielder Pablo Mastroeni pulled down Ruiz in the area in the 90th minute. Ruiz scored the penalty to make it 2-0, which is how the match ended. Our friend from Chicago ran off at that point, evidently trying to avoid traffic. Wow. Not everyone can become Southern Californian so quickly.

The only disappointment that Sett expressed was the lack of cheerleaders, which he says is one good thing that European sports teams are importing from their American counterparts. But we did get to see Miss Galaxy. [Which, coincidentally, also describes the LA fans who had been longing for a home match for the past eight months.]

Sett seemed to have trouble understanding some of the peculiarities of MLS [actual question: "What's an All-Star game?"*], but on the whole, he liked the quality of play, the raucous atmosphere, and our neighbours in Row M. He was confused for a moment early in the first half when everyone around us suddenly jumped up and waved their flags about - the ball was out of play at the time - but then we noticed the ESPN2 camera pointed at them.

So, congratulations are in order to the Anschutz Entertainment Group [who built the stadium] and the Los Angeles Galaxy [who play in it]. Together, you've earned the seal of approval from a French guy who's a hardcore football fan but whose first trip to a professional match came in the US.

* Answer: A game in which all the players are stars.