WEEKLY WHINE

Gagné ya

Do something 84 straight times.

Anything.

You can't, can you?

Here's our review of things that you can and can't do 84 straight times.

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Save a baseball game: Can be done 84 straight times. But only by someone with a goatee.

Wake up on time: Cannot be done 84 straight times. This is probably a mathematical impossibility, though it hasn't yet been proven. Proof of this conjecture is left as an exercise to yo mama.

Shave without cutting yourself: Is possible to do 84 straight times, especially if you have an electric razor.

Post a new Weekly Whine every week: Easy to do 84 straight times.

Post a good Weekly Whine every week: Not easy to do 84 straight times.

Eat a healthy, balanced breakfast: Can be done 84 straight times, depending upon your definition of breakfast.

Eat a healthy, balanced dinner: Cannot be done 84 straight times. Nobody eats healthy dinners any more.

Not lose a football match: 84 straight times is impossible. You hear that, Arsenal? Impossible!

Run into a wall: Probably can be done 84 straight times. But you wouldn't want to meet the person who can do that.

Eat a hot dog: Difficult to do 84 straight times, but possible. Wait a while and then check back in with that Tsunami guy.

Say the phrase "thrust period" without giggling: Is not possible to do 84 straight times. Might not even be possible one straight time.

Play a baseball game including at least one kick of dirt at the umpire: Is required at least 84 straight times.

Play a baseball game including at least one hat throw at the umpire: Is not possible 84 straight times, unless your name is Lou Piniella.

Be intentionally walked: Not impossible 84 straight times. Certainly within the realm of possibilities for a guy called Barry Bonds.

Take a bad shot: Was previously thought impossible to do 84 straight times. Kobe Bryant's exploits have shown otherwise.

Demand a trade: Was previously thought impossible to do 84 straight times. Shaquille O'Neal's exploits have shown otherwise.