WEEKLY WHINE

It’s a pleasure to meet y’all

by Amber Lynn

As the newest team member here at GoobNet, they asked me to write the Weekly Whine this week and introduce myself.

I told them that Deb already did a decent job of that in her article a few months ago. They told me to shut up and get my ass in gear.

So, hi to all readers. I’m Amber Lynn, and at the beginning of this year, I’d never heard of this website. But I looked at it after I met Deb, and it’s actually halfway decent. It has the same sort of stuff that I like. So when they invited me to join the team, I jumped at the opportunity.

That, and my guardian told me that if I didn’t start to make use of my talents, she would hand over the evidence she has against me.

Don’t worry. You don’t have a felon on your beloved GoobNet team. All I did was a couple of things that I can do now that I’m eighteen.

I just got kind of a head start, is all.

Anyway, I’m Amber Lynn. Before you ask, that’s my full legal name now, Amber Lynn. I come from a small farming community in eastern Texas. In fact, it was a little too small for me. I kept getting into trouble with the law because I wanted to get the hell out of there and make something of myself, only I couldn’t.

So my guardian, the local magistrate there, she told me that I should get out when I turned eighteen. She said she hoped that wouldn’t be too late, that I wouldn’t suddenly have a Thelma and Louise moment.

After she told me that, I rented Thelma and Louise. I hadn’t seen it until then.

I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life until Deb came along and we had our little trip. When we were done, I sent her a sample of my writing, and she passed it on to everyone else here.

And now here I am.

When I walked in the door last week, I met Reg and Edvard. There was also that weird guy in the corner. I still don’t know about him.

But the others are lots of fun. When that report about global warming came out last week, Edvard noted that it said the world’s gross domestic product would only take a .12% hit. He said, “How much you wanna bet the White House is going to say we can’t afford that?”

Reg answered, “No, they’re going to try to discredit the study.”

As it turned out, they were both right.