WEEKLY WHINE

Octopuses optional

As you are no doubt well aware, the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network has been a huge success, which is to say, it exists. Millions of people may or may not have been watching it, and that also means that millions of people may or may not have been clamouring for another network, one that would be a 24 hour sports news network.

That means we should create a 24 hour sports news network, tentatively titled “The GoobNet 24 Hour Sports News Network”. What sorts of topics would this network cover? Possibly, topics like these.

PREMIER LEAGUE CHAMPIONS
Man Utd demonstrate that money isn’t everything [buy your championship shirt!]

STRUGGLE FOR THE SONICS
No blood for oil for basketball

BECKHAMANIA
Seriously, we’re trying to come up with synonyms for “bend“

STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS
The NHL still exists, apparently

BIG BROTHER BELICHICK
What the hell is everybody else calling it? “Spygate”?

2010 MEN’S WORLD CUP QUALIFIERS
We’ll be down to 100 teams before you know it

CLEMENS IN CRISIS
I’m telling you, this stuff works!

CLEMENS STILL IN CRISIS
This time we’re talking about sports