WEEKLY WHINE

Carry on kicking off

There now follows a ranking of the special rules in effect at yesterday’s NFL Pro Bowl, from least silly to most silly.

1. Play clock: Between plays, the play clock was set to 35 seconds, rather than 40 seconds.
2. Intentional grounding permitted: The ball could be thrown away without penalty. Normally, this is not permitted when the passer is between the tackles and is being pressured.
3. No motion: Players on the offensive team could not go in motion or shift before the snap.
4. Tight end required: The offensive team had to have a tight end for all plays.
5. 3-4 defense not permitted: The defensive team could not play a 3-4 defense.
6. No blitzing or kick rushing: The defensive team could not blitz the passer, and it could not rush on a kicking or punting play.
7. Player draft: As with last year’s game, the teams were selected by former players, in this case Michael Irvin and Cris Carter. As a result, some teammates ended up on the same team, like Cincinnati’s Andy Dalton and AJ Green on Carter’s team. But fellow Bengal Geno Atkins lined up against them on Irvin’s team.
8. Long extra points: The ball was spotted at the 25 yard line, not the two yard line, for extra points.
9. Narrow uprights: The uprights were fourteen feet apart, not 18.25 feet as is normally the case. Disappointingly, no sign marked “Kick It Here and Win a Free Suit” was dangled from one of the uprights.
10. Game clock: Several adjustments were made to the rules on when the game clock runs. For instance, incomplete passes were treated like out of bounds plays, in that the clock began to run again after the ball was spotted [but not in the last two minutes of the first half or the last five of the second half]. After the two minute warning of each quarter, the clock stopped if the offensive team failed to gain at least one yard.
11. Two minute warning in all quarters: There was a two minute warning in each quarter, rather than just the second and fourth. Possessions were automatically terminated at the end of each quarter. This rule made no sense whatsoever.
12. Two timeouts per quarter: Each team had two timeouts in each quarter, instead of three per half. In addition, one of the two in the first quarter could be carried over into the second, and likewise for the third into the fourth quarter. This made for a total of eight timeouts per team, especially ridiculous given that the normal six timeouts are already too many.
13. No kickoffs: Instead of kicking off at the start of each half and after a scoring play, each possession began at the 25 yard line. Although this rule was introduced for safety reasons, this leaves kickers and return specialists with very little to do. Kickoffs should be retained, but made safer by mudding the field before the kickoff.