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WEEKLY WHINE

Los Angeles again asks why the Olympics are here

Last week, we discussed the proposed venues for the 2028 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles, CA, USA. This week, let us go back to what we always do: offer uninformed criticism and nonsensical replacement proposals that would never work because we clearly have no understanding of all the myriad factors that go into deciding these sorts of things.

CEREMONIES

The Los Angeles proposal involves two stadiums for the opening and closing ceremonies: Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum and Los Angeles Stadium. The official opening ceremony would take place at LA Stadium, and the official closing ceremony would take place at the Coliseum. However, both stadiums would be open for both events. For instance, there would be an entertainment programme at the Coliseum before the opening ceremony at the LA Stadium is broadcast on the Coliseum’s video screens. The cauldrons at both stadiums would be lit simultaneously.

But why not take this one step further? Why not open all the Olympic venues and allow as many spectators as possible to enjoy the ceremonies together? Why not incorporate events at these other venues into the festivities? If nothing else, it will give us the opportunity to hear NBC commentators’ disbelief that Mickey Mouse has magically appeared at LA Stadium after we saw him in Anaheim just moments ago.

Commentators at ABC and ESPN, by contrast, would immediately see through such a ruse. They are fully briefed on Mickey Mouse’s capabilities.

MARATHON

So far, the bid committee has indicated that the marathons would take place downtown, at Grand Park and City Hall. This would presumably be the start of the course, and the end would possibly be the Coliseum. But the Coliseum is less than seven kilometres from City Hall, so the course would require some silly loops or reversals.

Moreover, this is a completely different course from the annual Los Angeles Marathon, which extends from Dodger Stadium to Santa Monica. Part of this, most likely, is by necessity. Santa Monica, after all, will be busy with the beach volleyball, at least during the women’s marathon, and Dodger Stadium will be in use for the baseball and softball tournaments.

So why not borrow from the LA Marathon? If we still want to end at the Coliseum, we could simply reverse the course and move the finish line from Dodger Stadium. Likewise, we could move the start from Santa Monica up the coast to the Pacific Palisades, which is at a higher elevation and thus avoids a climb at the start of the course.

AQUATICS

The new LA Stadium is expected to be a centrepiece of the sporting landscape in Los Angeles. So why is it being used only for the ceremonies and the football tournament, which is already using two other venues in the LA area alone?

Los Angeles’s bid for the Olympics has never come up with a satisfactory solution for the aquatics. The organisers originally planned to build temporary swimming and diving pools at Banc of California Stadium, but the current proposal is to build them at Dedeaux Field instead.

So if we are going to use temporary facilities for these events, why not think big? Why not place them in a more impressive setting, like LA Stadium? What diver would not want to compete in front of a crowd of 80,000? What synchronised swimmer would not want to swim synchronously in the centre of a stadium filled with state of the art luxury boxes?

MODERN PENTATHLON

The modern pentathlon would be held, in its entirety, at the Stubhub Center. At previous Summer Olympics, the various disciplines of the modern pentathlon have been held at different venues. But here, temporary fencing pistes and swimming pools would be used.

We don’t have any particular recommendations about the venue. We just want to see one of our proposals added to the Olympic programme.

FOOTBALL

If we move the aquatics to the LA Stadium as described above, it will not be available for the football tournaments. This leaves the Rose Bowl and Banc of California Stadium amongst currently listed venues; the bid committee has proposed using a total of eight stadiums in the state of California. We, however, recommend including Arizona and Nevada as well. Here is our proposed list of football venues:

  • Rose Bowl, Pasadena, CA, USA
  • Banc of California Stadium, Los Angeles, CA, USA
  • Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, CA, USA
  • Avaya Stadium, San Jose, CA, USA
  • Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego, CA, USA
  • Papa Murphy’s Park, Sacramento, CA, USA
  • University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, AZ, USA
  • Las Vegas Stadium, Paradise, NV, USA

And here is our proposed match schedule:

WED 19 JUL 2028
women’s group EGlendale, AZ13:00 PDT[E1][E2]
women’s group FSacramento, CA14:00 PDT[F1][F2]
women’s group GLos Angeles, CA15:00 PDT[G1][G2]
women’s group EGlendale, AZ16:00 PDT[E3][E4]
women’s group HSan Jose, CA16:00 PDT[H1][H2]
women’s group FSacramento, CA17:00 PDT[F3][F4]
women’s group GLos Angeles, CA18:00 PDT[G3][G4]
women’s group HSan Jose, CA19:00 PDT[H3][H4]
THU 20 JUL 2028
men’s group APasadena, CA13:00 PDT[A1][A2]
men’s group BSan Diego, CA14:00 PDT[B1][B2]
men’s group CSanta Clara, CA15:00 PDT[C1][C2]
men’s group APasadena, CA16:00 PDT[A3][A4]
men’s group DParadise, NV16:00 PDT[D1][D2]
men’s group BSan Diego, CA17:00 PDT[B3][B4]
men’s group CSanta Clara, CA18:00 PDT[C3][C4]
men’s group DParadise, NV19:00 PDT[D3][D4]
SAT 22 JUL 2028
women’s group EGlendale, AZ13:00 PDT[E1][E3]
women’s group FSacramento, CA14:00 PDT[F1][F3]
women’s group GLos Angeles, CA15:00 PDT[G1][G3]
women’s group EGlendale, AZ16:00 PDT[E4][E2]
women’s group HSan Jose, CA16:00 PDT[H1][H3]
women’s group FSacramento, CA17:00 PDT[F4][F2]
women’s group GLos Angeles, CA18:00 PDT[G4][G2]
women’s group HSan Jose, CA19:00 PDT[H4][H2]
SUN 23 JUL 2028
men’s group APasadena, CA13:00 PDT[A1][A3]
men’s group BSan Diego, CA14:00 PDT[B1][B3]
men’s group CSanta Clara, CA15:00 PDT[C1][C3]
men’s group APasadena, CA16:00 PDT[A4][A2]
men’s group DParadise, NV16:00 PDT[D1][D3]
men’s group BSan Diego, CA17:00 PDT[B4][B2]
men’s group CSanta Clara, CA18:00 PDT[C4][C2]
men’s group DParadise, NV19:00 PDT[D4][D2]
TUE 25 JUL 2028
women’s group ESacramento, CA13:00 PDT[E2][E3]
women’s group ESan Jose, CA13:00 PDT[E4][E1]
women’s group FGlendale, AZ15:00 PDT[F2][F3]
women’s group FLos Angeles, CA15:00 PDT[F4][F1]
women’s group GSacramento, CA17:00 PDT[G2][G3]
women’s group GSan Jose, CA17:00 PDT[G4][G1]
women’s group HGlendale, AZ19:00 PDT[H2][H3]
women’s group HLos Angeles, CA19:00 PDT[H4][H1]
WED 26 JUL 2028
men’s group ASanta Clara, CA13:00 PDT[A2][A3]
men’s group AParadise, NV13:00 PDT[A4][A1]
men’s group BPasadena, CA15:00 PDT[B2][B3]
men’s group BSan Diego, CA15:00 PDT[B4][B1]
men’s group CSanta Clara, CA17:00 PDT[C2][C3]
men’s group CParadise, NV17:00 PDT[C4][C1]
men’s group DPasadena, CA19:00 PDT[D2][D3]
men’s group DSan Diego, CA19:00 PDT[D4][D1]
FRI 28 JUL 2028
women’s QF 1Glendale, AZ13:00 PDT[1st group E][2nd group F]
women’s QF 2Los Angeles, CA15:00 PDT[1st group G][2nd group H]
women’s QF 3Glendale, AZ17:00 PDT[1st group F][2nd group E]
women’s QF 4Los Angeles, CA19:00 PDT[1st group H][2nd group G]
SAT 29 JUL 2028
men’s QF 1Pasadena, CA13:00 PDT[1st group A][2nd group B]
men’s QF 2Santa Clara, CA15:00 PDT[1st group C][2nd group D]
men’s QF 3Pasadena, CA17:00 PDT[1st group B][2nd group A]
men’s QF 4Santa Clara, CA19:00 PDT[1st group D][2nd group C]
TUE 01 AUG 2028
women’s SF 1Santa Clara, CA16:00 PDT[Winner QF 1][Winner QF 2]
women’s SF 2Los Angeles, CA19:00 PDT[Winner QF 3][Winner QF 4]
WED 02 AUG 2028
men’s SF 1Glendale, AZ16:00 PDT[Winner QF 1][Winner QF 2]
men’s SF 2Pasadena, CA19:00 PDT[Winner QF 3][Winner QF 4]
FRI 04 AUG 2028
women’s bronze medalSanta Clara, CA16:00 PDT[Loser SF 1][Loser SF 2]
women’s gold medalPasadena, CA19:00 PDT[Winner SF 1][Winner SF 2]
SAT 05 AUG 2028
men’s bronze medalGlendale, AZ16:00 PDT[Loser SF 1][Loser SF 2]
men’s gold medalPasadena, CA19:00 PDT[Winner SF 1][Winner SF 2]

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