WEEKLY WHINE

Award ward

In just under a month's time, FIFA will tell us who the male and female World Players of the Year are. [Not to be mistaken for the World Playaz of the Year.] The male candidates are David Beckham of England, Raúl of Spain, and Luis Figo of Portugal; the female are Mia Hamm and Tiffeny Milbrett of the US, and Sun Wen of China. At the "World Player Gala", which is apparently some silly sort of party in Zurich, they will also award other awards: the Team of the Year and the Best Mover of the Year, as well as the Fair Play Award, the Fair Play Diploma, and the FIFA Presidential Award. But you may not know that several other awards are also to be presented. Here's a quick peek at them:

World Foosball Player of the Year: David Endilsson of Norway is the leader, having romped to a 10-5 victory at this year's singles championship against Ericinho of Brazil. The doubles champions, Liza Tulaymanoglu of Turkey and Josie Hernandez of Spain, are also possibilities.

Non-Mover of the Year: This inertial award is likely to go to Brazil's Ronaldo, the two time Player of the Year who has been sidelined almost continually since France 1998 due to various injuries. Also nominated was Saudi Arabia's Nasser Al-Johar, the national team coach who keeps getting replaced but keeps returning when his replacements, like Milan Macala and Slobodan Santrac, are sacked.

FIFA President of the Year: This is the award that honours the best FIFA President of each year. This year, there's only one nominee: Sepp Blatter, who has won the award for two years running.

Diego Maradona Award for Restraint: Bearing the name of the famously loose-cannon Argentino footballer, the Maradona Award is likely to be split amongst the twelve teams who would have competed at this year's Club World Championship in Spain, in recognition of their decision not to protest the tournament's abrupt cancellation by staging a sit-in inside Blatter's office.

Strange Bedfellows Award: International Sports Licensing, which used to exist, is a nearly sure bet to win this award. ISL got the rights to market the 2002 Men's World Cup, apparently for only one reason: Blatter really liked them.

Wembley Stadium Memorial Award: The Stadium of the Year earns this award. Frontrunner is the Sapporo Dome, which opened in MAY 2001 in Sapporo, Japan. This badass venue puts the playing field on a big air cushion so that it can actually be moved outside of the dome to let the grass grow in real sunlight, and then it can be brought inside on gameday.

Cardiac Kids of the Year: This award is given to the team whose fans had the highest rate of heart attacks per capita during the teams' respective matches. Brazil stand a good chance of winning this award, having gone all the way to the final matchday before securing their berth at Korea/Japan 2002 with a win over Venezuela. Germany, who gave up the lead in their group by losing 5-1 at home to England, managed to qualify for the World Cup by going the long way through the playoffs. Amongst club teams, look to the Atlanta Beat, who won their WUSA semifinal by coming back from a 2-0 deficit against the Philadelphia Charge to reach a thrilling final against the Bay Area CyberRays that finished 3-3 and went to penalties.

We will discover the winners of these awards on MON 17 DEC 2001. Till then, pick your favourite.