WEEKLY WHINE

Pay attention, yo

So Terrell Owens thinks he has the right to choose his team, despite not being a free agent. And St Joseph's think they have the right to be ranked first, despite not being their conference winner. For rabid reactions to these and other sporting issues, turn now to the GoobNet Mailbox. But be careful, as it's dangerous. One of our interns entered the GoobNet Mailbox some years ago and never returned. And there were weird lumps in the meatloaf the next day.

Why doesn't Terrell Owens just accept that he's a Raven? - Nick Adderleigh, Baltimore, MD, USA

That's a tough one. He causes destruction and despair wherever he goes. Seems pretty clear to me that he's a raven.

That was uncalled for. You can't blame him - it was his agent's fault for not getting the paperwork in on time. - Alice McChad, Norwalk, RI, USA

It was his agent's fault, but it doesn't follow that you can't blame Terrell or that our clever wordplay on the team name was uncalled for. You see, the 49ers' season ended on SAT 27 DEC 2003. Regardless of whether the NFL moved the deadline up, Terrell should have been on the telephone on a daily basis with his agent, continually checking whether his free agency was ready to go, telling him, "Show me the moneeeey!"

Ha ha! St Joseph's sucks! - Chad Alwood, Five Corners, PA, USA

That's nice.

Do you think hockey is too violent? - Lurleen Faldredge, Calgary, AB, Canada

No.

Would you care to elaborate on that, or anything? - Lurleen Faldredge, Calgary, AB, Canada

Fine. Are we talking about the Todd Bertuzzi case here?

Yes. - Lurleen Faldredge, Calgary, AB, Canada

Okay then. I watch hockey rarely, but in those matches I have seen, I saw plenty of vigilante justice, but never anything like that: a punch from behind, followed by a bodyslam onto the ice. Getting back at someone who's wronged you is part of hockey. Hell, it's part of life. But, you know, shouldn't there be a statute of limitations? Todd was going after Steve Moore for something that Steve did three weeks ago. At some point you've got to take a deep breath and go, "Okay. This guy did something mean to us, but if we beat them tonight, that'll show him." Too many people go, "Okay. This guy did something mean to us, but if we beat him tonight, that'll show him."

So why are so many basketball players in trouble with the law? - Ed Mackalesstor, Windhoek, Namibia

I don't know. Because they don't know how to break the law discreetly, I guess. Or because they never think to bribe their witnesses or the cops.

I think hockey isn't violent enough. Let's see more knees in the groin. - Chandra Adams, Guadaloupe, Mexico

Shut up.