WEEKLY WHINE

On the checkout stand

Here's another quick peek at what would happen if we at GoobNet published a weekly tabloid. Because you just never know.

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BRAD AND JEN SPOTTED MAKING FACES AT EACH OTHER!

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AMAZING NEW DIET! GUARANTEED TO DO NOTHING!

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HIDDEN CAMERAS REVEAL: WEDNESDAYS ARE BORING!

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SEPP BLATTER'S EMOTIONAL CONFESSION: "I JUST OPEN MY MOUTH WITHOUT THINKING!"

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NEW INVESTIGATION PROVES: TIM MCCARVER IS ANNOYING!

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DENNIS FRANZ'S ASS DEMANDS MORE EXPOSURE!

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RANDOM HOROSCOPES! GUARANTEED JUST AS ACCURATE AS ANYONE ELSE'S!

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SHOCKING TRUTH REVEALED! WHO IS LEBRON JAMES'S FAVOURITE AUTHOR?

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WIN AT TIDDLYWINKS! NELSON MANDELA'S SECRET FORMULA!

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SCIENTISTS AGREE: PARIS HILTON REALLY ISN'T THAT HOT!

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STEINBRENNER: "I THOUGHT PAYING PLAYERS MORE MADE THEM BETTER!"

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RANDY JOHNSON: "I THOUGHT GETTING PAID MORE WOULD MAKE ME BETTER!"

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NEW STUDY REVEALS: TABLOID READERS ARE MORONS!

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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: BOB DOLE'S FAVOURITE COOKIES REVEALED!

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CUP THROWER'S EMOTIONAL CONFESSION: "I THOUGHT HE WAS THIRSTY!"

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RON ARTEST'S EMOTIONAL CONFESSION: "ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS SELL HIM MY ALBUM!"