WEEKLY WHINE

Let's build a house there

Did you see all that stuff that Huygens sent back?

Of course you did. You're not allowed to view GoobNet unless you really like space. Wait, hang on.

Hey you! IP address 18.118.144.199! You don't like space enough! Go visit Spaceflight Now until you like space more!

Okay, now that we're all on the space team, let's take a look at all the messages we received about Huygens's descent into and landing on Titan. So avert your eyes to avoid retinal damage as we open up the GoobNet Mailbox.

We sure got lucky there, didn't we? - Nick Chung, Portland, ME, USA

Um, yeah, I guess so. Are you referring to the way Huygens succeeded and even lived more than an hour beyond anyone ever thought?

No, I meant that thing with having to change the flight profile because Huygens wouldn't have been able to talk to Cassini. - Nick Chung, Portland, ME, USA

See? Told you they should have done the GoobNet Relative Velocity Test.

What did Huygens land on? - Aurelie Massimoto, Verona, Italy

John Zarnecki, the principal investigator of Huygens's surface science package, says that it's probably something with a consistency analogous to clay or wet sand. He was careful to warn us that he doesn't really think that's what it is.

Wasn't it really neat the way they were able to detect Huygens's signal from Earth, like, more than a billion kilometres away? - Juan Metrología, Valencia, Spain

Yes.

Why did they lose all the data from that other channel? - Veronique Hassler, Magadan, Russia

They forgot to turn it on.

You know, I really hate all your dismissive responses like that. "They forgot to turn it on." Must you be so freaking lazy? Just find out what really happened and tell us! - Jeanette Satoshi, Osaka, Japan

Well, that is what really happened. The commands they sent to Cassini didn't include the one to listen on channel A.

Yeah! Don't be bashing them like that! They're doing a good job! - Veronique Hassler, Magadan, Russia

Yeah.

Oh, whatever. Remember all those Weekly Whines that only had, like, boring graphics and stuff? And all the ones that didn't say anything important? No wonder they got deleted. Know what GoobNet stands for? Good Option for Overbearing Bombasity, Not Enough Truth. - Jeanette Satoshi, Osaka, Japan

First, the word you want is bombast, not bombasity. And second: Shut up.