WEEKLY WHINE

Sale of the century

Earlier this week, a tribunal at the Federazione Italiana Giuoco Calcio concluded its investigation and announced its punishments. Juventus, Fiorentina, and Lazio have all been relegated to Serie B, Juve's last two Serie A championships have been stripped, and Milan plus the three relegated clubs will have points deducted from next season's totals. Finally, all four clubs are ineligible to compete in European tournaments next season.

What does all this mean? Well, for millions of Italians who hate one or more of the affected clubs, it means the following: Ha ha!

But there's much more going on in Italy, because the relegated clubs are full of stars, like the Bianconeri's Gianluigi Buffon and Zlatan Ibrahimović, the Biancocelesti's Angelo Peruzzi and Massimo Oddo, and the Viola's Luca Toni. Those players will want to get the hell off their clubs and onto a club that's playing in the first division – of any country.

So, here's your chance to play Luciano Moggi and see if you can be just as corrupt as he is. Suppose the following players are in need of a new club and cost the listed amounts, and suppose the listed clubs have the listed amounts available. How would you allocate the players?