WEEKLY WHINE
The GoobNet Football Committee watched as much football as possible during the 2006 Men's World Cup. So who better than them to decide who is worthy of the prizes and goodies from this tournament? Well, anybody really. But that won't stop them.
Note: We actually don't have a note to make here. We just like starting paragraphs with "Note:" in italics.
Best Match: Germany 04-02 Costa Rica, FRI 09 JUN 2006
Edvard says: Germany showed that they were one of the best teams, but they also showed that their offside trap needed some work.
Worst Match: Switzerland 00-00 Ukraine [PK: 00-03], MON 26 JUN 2006
Reg says: They should have skipped the second half and the overtime, it was that dull. Nobody was even trying to score. Costa Rica may have encountered an angry crowd when they landed back in San José, but it was the Swiss who deserved such a reception when they got home. Every time they play for the next couple of years, people will be saying, "Hey, aren't you the guys who got eliminated because you spent the whole match playing for penalties and then missed them all?"
Silliest Match: Croatia 02-02 Australia, THU 22 JUN 2006
Reg says: This is what football is all about: attacking with wild abandon, tackling with wild abandon, being sent off with wild abandon, and losing track of cards with wild ambition. Just three minutes in, Croatia earned a free kick, which Darijo Srna curled into the net. The Aussies equalised late in the first half on a penalty, but then Australian keeper Zeljko Kalac let a shot trickle through his arms and in. Did the Socceroos fall? Of course not. Harry Kewell got another equaliser, and then referee Graham Poll comically showed a total of three yellows to Croatia's Josip Šimunić.
Just Ignore the 350 Cards Award: Horacio ELIZONDO, Argentina
Deb says: Elizondo, referee of the final match, turned in a great performance, hopefully making people forget about the lousy officiating in the couple of weeks prior to that. He particularly excelled in the second overtime session, when he didn't see Zinédine Zidane's headbutt but fourth official Luis Medina Cantalejo did. Elizondo went over and had a chat with Cantalejo, and when he returned to the pitch, he was reaching for that red card in his back pocket.
John Kerry Award for Excellence in Flipflopping: Togo
Reg says: Is Otto Pfister gonna coach, or isn't he? Is the federation looking for another coach, or isn't it? Are the players gonna skip the match, or aren't they?
Best Name: André Titi BUENGO, Angola
Edvard says: I went to a strip club the other day and saw a dancer named Andrea Titi Buengo.
Worst Name: Aurtis WHITLEY, Trinidad-Tobago
Deb says: What happens when Whitley stands next to Locó? You get the Aurtis and the Hair! Ha ha ha!
Edvard says: Get off the stage! You suck!
Deb says: Blow me.
Best Hair: Fabrice AKWÁ, Angola
Debbie says: Though there was very little interest in hair at this tournament, one of the exceptions was Akwá, whose cornrow patterns were a sight for sore eyes.
Worst Hair: Manuel LOCÓ, Angola
Debbie says: If Akwá's hair was a sight for sore eyes, Locó is the one who made the eyes sore. Take Ronaldo's half moon from the 2002 final, and grow it out into bangs. Then say, "What the fuck?", because that's the only possible response.
Dark Cloud Award: Italian match fixing scandal
Deb says: Italian prosecutors talked to Gianluigi Buffon, Marcello Lippi, and others ahead of the World Cup. Did you think that would affect Italy's game? Did you think they'd be freaking about the possibility of their club being relegated, or even prosecution of some of Italy's biggest footballing names? Whatever, they say.
Jeff Agoos ¡Autogolazo! Award: Brent SANCHO, Trinidad-Tobago
Deb says: Well, we may never see such a spectacular own goal as Agoos's effort, but Sancho tried, redirecting Roberto Acuña's free kick past Kelvin Jack and in.
Best Uniforms: Secondary kit, France
Debbie says: Personally, I liked France's kits from 1998, with the horizontal lines. But their white jersey this time round, with a big blue and red horizontal stripe, was almost as good.
Worst Uniforms: Anything by Puma
Debbie says: They had a pretty good idea by putting a large watermark-style image of the team's crest or some other symbol across the front, but the problem is, it was almost invisible except in an extreme closeup. And lowercase names on the backs? The good news at this tournament was that Nike and Adidas are finally moving away from the Cookie Cutter syndrome of 2000-2004. Puma, I hope you've learned your lesson.
Silliest Uniforms: Primary kit, Croatia
Debbie says: I'm not sure, but I think FIFA were behind the removal of the red checkers from the back of Croatia's jersey – probably something about making the name and number more readable. Checkered on the front and white on the back was kind of disorienting for me.
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