WEEKLY WHINE

Ask for channel 666

Recently, Reginald J Goober, founder and CEO of GoobNet Enterprises, Inc [which doesn't actually exist however], began a search for new enterprises that GoobNet could enter. He settled on a 24 hour news network, tentatively titled "The GoobNet 24 Hour News Network".

But it soon became clear that the first thing any 24 hour news network must have is a big annoying graphic for each continuing story that it covers. Here now are the names of our continuing stories. Feel free to generate your annoying graphic for any or all of these, and if we use yours on the air, you could win the highest prize we have to offer: The satisfaction of a job well done.

We might also get you some GoobNet Silly Bucks, but don't be too eager about that.

2003 UB₃₁₃: PLANET OR NOT?
Also, Pluto has something to do with it

GLOBAL WARMING
Storms! Flooding! Bad hair days!

FLASHPOINT MIDDLE EAST
Or: If Boca-River was every day

ISS CONSTRUCTION
Fines doubled in work area

THE FIGHT FOR AFGHANISTAN
So much violence, so little resources

2007 WOMEN'S WORLD CUP QUALIFICATION
Doesn't anybody besides us care?

THE PRICE OF OIL
Still waiting for you idiots to drive less

GENERIC CELEBRITY NEWS
If this is what you're after, you're on the wrong channel