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WEEKLY WHINE

Interaction: Terminating the Governator

Myers: Hello, and welcome to Interaction here in Sacramento, capital of the US state of California. We’re now just a few weeks away from elections to decide who will become the governor of this state. Will it be the Austrian immigrant whose career highlights include Pumping Iron and Last Action Hero? The state’s treasurer who wants the Internet to be neutral and doesn’t believe in the power of celebrity swagger? The pornographic actress whose platform includes fighting AIDS and webcams in the governor’s mansion? Or someone who’s not in the running? We have all four of these individuals here, and we’ll hear from all of them shortly. We’ll begin with the Interaction IQ, the Initial Question. Today it is from Bryan in Wembley, England, UK, who wants to know what difference it makes who is the governor of California. We begin today with the man who is the current governor of California and running for reelection as a Republican, Mr Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Schwarzenegger: Thank you, Debbie. Let me begin by thanking you and the entire Interaction team for setting up this programme here today. It is truly an honour to be here with you, with my honourable opponent, with my other honourable opponent, and with my former honourable opponent. Let me also state that if I am reelected to the governor’s mansion, I will make California an excellent place to live, a place where jobs are readily available, and a place where we make a difference in the fight against pollution and foreign oil.

Myers: Currently the treasurer of California and running for governor as a Democrat, Mr Phil Angelides.

Angelides: Thank you, Debbie. Let me begin by thanking you and the entire Interaction team for setting up this programme here today. It is truly an honour to be here with you, with my honourable opponent, with my other honourable opponent, and with my honourable... um... person I’ve never run against. Let me also state that if I am elected to the governor’s mansion, I will fight for the rights of every Californian. I pledge to reduce taxes on the middle class, invest in our students’ future, improve access to health care for everyone, and make our state the world leader in renewable energy and clean vehicles.

Myers: Currently a pornographic actress and running for governor as an independent, Ms Mary Ellen Cook.

Cook: That’s Mary Carey.

Myers: And currently a columnist and former –

Cook: Hey! Don’t I get to make an opening statement?

Myers: Opening statement? This is not a debate, all right? A columnist and former candidate for governor as an independent, Ms Arianna Huffington.

Huffington: The people of California deserve a leader who will hold their interests in regard.

Myers: And I’m Debbie Myers. I’m the only one here today who is actually going to address the Initial Question. California is one of the world’s largest economies and sees itself as a leader in the United States. We’re going to go to you first, Phil, and ask what you feel is the most important issue facing the state of California today.

Angelides: A very good question, Debbie. My campaign is built on a plan called “Renewing the Promise of California”. What that means is that California’s working classes and middle classes should have more opportunities to move up in the world than they do now. That’s why my plan calls for tax cuts for those who make a hundred thousand dollars or less per year, more investment in education, and tax cuts and more lending for small businesses. With these action items, we can once again make California a place for the many, not for the few.

Myers: The same question to you, Mary.

Cook: The biggest problem that California faces today is divisiveness. The left wing hates the right wing, the right wing hates the left wing, and all of them hate the centre. I am trying to remind Californians why they came to this state in the first place. Whether it’s your love for economic opportunity, your love for the entertainment industry, your love for a commitment to clean air, your love for one of our sporting teams, your love for your fellow Californians, or whatever it may be, we’re all Californians, and with me in the governor’s mansion, we’re going to put a stop to the politics of hatred.

Myers: The same question to you, Arnold.

Schwarzenegger: A very good question, Debbie. I feel that California’s biggest problem right now is the political gaming taking place all the time here in Sacramento. In my three years in office so far, I have succeeded in forming a team with myself and with the legislature, allowing us to pass budgets on time and come to agreement on key issues. Should I win reelection, I will redouble my efforts to make partisan politics a thing of the past in California.

Myers: All right, well –

Huffington: Don’t I get that question too?

Myers: You’re not even running! We’re going to move on now to more questions from our viewers. Don’t forget that you can get questions to us with one of these methods, including telephone, text message, E-mail, snail mail, facsimile, and parachuting down right in front of me and handing me your question. We have a question now from Jean in Sacramento, whom we met today walking around downtown. Jean, hello.

Jean in Sacramento: Hi Debbie. Nice to meet you.

Myers: Good to meet you as well. What is your question for your candidates?

Jean in Sacramento: Well, I’m a college student at Sacramento City College, and this will be the first election in which I’m eligible to vote. Could the candidates all give me a quick summary as to why I should vote for them?

Myers: Certainly. Mary, let’s start with you.

Cook: Well, Jean, I plan to fight to legalise same sex marriages in the state of California. I intend to commit state resources to fighting AIDS and making our prison system safer and more efficient. I will make our streets safer by introducing a Porn for Pistols programme. Finally, I will use my natural charm and influence to bring business into our state and provide more job opportunities for young professionals like you.

Myers: Arnold?

Schwarzenegger: Jean, let me be the first to welcome you into the ballot casting community. I have turned California around in only three years. When I came to Sacramento, our state was on the brink of bankruptcy, with an embarrasingly low credit rating and a gigantic deficit. I have successfully reduced expenditures while keeping taxes down and raising investments in education to record levels. If you give me four more years in office, I will create even more new jobs and continue California’s status as a world leader in emissions management, all to make a better California for you and your children.

Myers: Phil?

Angelides: Mr Schwarzenegger has indeed accomplished quite a bit. But he is content to simply rest on his laurels if he wins a second term. But I pledge to you that if I am elected, I will go much farther and will make affordable health care a priority for this state. I will put more funding in our students’ education; as Mr Schwarzenegger says, we are funding education at record levels, but it is still not enough. It is still too difficult for young people like yourself to pay for college. Under my plan for California, I will create more opportunities for motivated people like you so that when you complete your education, you will be able to enter the workforce right away.

Myers: Very well. Let’s go to the telephone lines for our next question. Samuel in Ontario, CA, USA, are you there?

Samuel in Ontario: Yes. Hi.

Myers: Hello Samuel. What is your question?

Samuel in Ontario: My question is for Arianna. When are you going to do The Colbert Report again?

Huffington: Well, I am eager to appear on the Report again. And I promise you that the next time I am on, I will convince Stephen to become a liberal.

Myers: All right. Well, it appears you’ll have your work cut out for you. We have another question now, and it’s from Stephen in New York City, NY, USA. Stephen, are you there?

Stephen in New York City: Yes, hi.

Myers: Hello Stephen. What is your question?

Stephen in New York City: Well, first, let me point out that you are looking radiant today, Debbie. If you ever want to immigrate, we’d be happy to have you in our country. Our borders are always open. For another few months, anyway.

Myers: Um, thank you.

Stephen in New York City: You’re welcome.

Myers: So, what is your question, Stephen?

Stephen in New York City: I don’t have a question. I just wanted to say: Hey, Arianna! You’re not getting me to join you tree hugging, left leaning fact-anistas!

Myers: We’ll keep that in mind. Well, we now have time for one more question, and it’s an E-mail from Lisa in Berkeley, CA, USA. Lisa asks where the money for education is going to come from if you’re all going to keep taxes down. We only have time for seven words each. Mary, let’s start with you.

Cook: I’ll increase funds by taxing breast implants.

[Pause.]

Myers: All right then. Phil?

Angelides: Well, Debbie, let me thank you for –

Myers: That’s your seven words. Arnold?

Schwarzenegger: Well, Debbie, let me thank you for –

Myers: And that’s your seven words. Arianna?

Huffington: Buy my book, On Becoming Fearless in

Myers: And that’s your seven words. We are out of time for this week’s edition of Interaction, and I will thank Ms Arianna Huffington, Ms Mary Ellen Cook, Mr Phil Angelides, and Mr Arnold Schwarzenegger for appearing here today. Next week we will be discussing the reunification of the world’s chess title. We’ll be speaking to the new champion, some other leading figures in the world of chess, and one of the world’s leading chess groupies. And be sure to visit our website at interaction.goobnet.net to send in your questions for them. Until next week, good night.

Schwarzenegger: I would like to meet this chess groupie.

Cook: There’s an idea for my next movie.

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