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WEEKLY WHINE

Interaction: Golden Globe award show

Myers: Good day, and welcome to Los Angeles for this week’s edition of Interaction, the programme in which you confront those who are making headlines and try to find out just what the hell they are thinking, and in many cases then wish you hadn’t found out. This week we are here in sunny California to discuss the strike of the Writers Guild of America and its effect on the entertainment industry. Entertainment, of course, is a massive industry at present, much of it fueled by writers. Indeed, without writers, many actors would actually have to think of things to say on their own, much as I am doing now. What will be the strike’s outcome? Will it have a lasting effect on the industry? And just when will the viewing public grow tired of reality programmes and game shows? To examine these issues, here is our panel. First, a writer for the television series You Can’t Die Now, You’ve Still Got Six More Car Payments, Ms Laura Siegel-Shaw.

Siegel-Shaw: Hi.

Myers: A stage and screen actor who is currently appearing in the off-Broadway show The Space Bar, Mr Ryan Pachtorca.

Pachtorca: Hi Debbie.

Myers: The vice president of production activities at KFUP-TV in Los Angeles, Mr Shawn Grant.

Grant: Good morning.

Myers: And a professor of media studies at the University of San Pedro, and the author of the book All’s Well That’s Written Well: Why the Viewing Public Depends on Writers for Everything They See, Hear, and Think, Ms Kate Dancinia.

Dancinia: Hi.

Myers: And thank you all for joining us today. Laura, though the Golden Globe award show tomorrow has been replaced with a simple press conference, many other television programmes have returned to air without their writers, at least not in a writing capacity. Is the writers’ strike really working?

Siegel-Shaw: Oh, definitely. Most of the public is firmly behind us rather than the AMPTP. A programme to send pencils to the men who run the country’s largest media corporations was a huge success. We sent over 600,000 pencils, courtesy of regular people who feel that we the writers should get our fair share of the studios’ profits on what we wrote.

Myers: Noble sentiments there. Ryan, production of television programmes and films is shutting down. Is that what led you to stage?

Pachtorca: Well, it didn’t hurt. I hadn’t been on stage since college, and I had already been eager to get back into it when the strike began.

Myers: That’s certainly a good thing to do. Shawn, as Laura mentioned, public sentiment largely seems to be on the side of the writers. How do you respond to those who claim that film and television producers are lying, greedy, hypocritical bastards who siphon hundreds of millions of dollars in profits for themselves despite themselves making no significant contribution to anything anywhere?

Grant: Well, actually, I’ve got to side with the writers on this one. I think they deserve a share of the profits made online from the films and shows that they write. I’ve been working hard these last few weeks trying to encourage the AMPTP to return to the table, but they seem to expect the writers to make some concessions before we even get to the table in the first place, which I feel is ridiculous.

Myers: So you do side with the writers?

Grant: I absolutely do.

Myers: That’s kind of disappointing for today’s programme. Kate, you have written a book about all the various types of programmes that rely on writers. If the strike continues much longer, will there be any types of shows or films that will be left unaffected?

Dancinia: There really won’t, Debbie. Even this show requires writers to develop a list of questions for you to ask.

Myers: Yes, but our writers aren’t American, so they’re still on the job, as evidenced by that question I asked Shawn a moment ago. Well, everyone, remember that you can, as usual, reach us in a number of different ways to get your questions to our panel today. You can use a telephone, a text message, an E-mail, a snail mail, or a facsimile. The different ways you can do that are on your screen right now, along with a message of solidarity from our own writers to the WGA. How sweet. Well, our first question is from Louwecia in Santa Ana, CA, USA. Louwecia, are you there?

Louwecia in Santa Ana: Hi.

Myers: Hello Louwecia. What is your question?

Louwecia in Santa Ana: I have a question about tomorrow’s Golden Globes thing, the thing that isn’t an awards show. How much money will the Los Angeles area lose because of the awards show thing not happening?

Myers: That’s kind of an interesting question. Shawn?

Grant: I would go so far as to say that question is completely interesting.

Myers: Would you care to answer it?

Grant: Okay. Most of the estimates I have seen put that figure at sixty to eighty million dollars. If the Oscars also have to be cut later in the year, that would mean this area would stand to lose more than US$100,000,000 on top of that.

Myers: Can you put that in real terms? How is that really going to affect an area that pulls in billions annually?

Grant: It will be worse than if it hadn’t, but not as bad as if it had been more severe.

Siegel-Shaw: Yes, I’d like to add to that, Debbie.

Myers: Yes?

Siegel-Shaw: I would like to add that sentences like that are what happens when television personalities don’t have writers.

Myers: Very good line, yes.

Siegel-Shaw: I would also like to point out to the WGA that I constructed that statement entirely in my mind, without ever using a pen, pencil, or keyboard.

Myers: Not such a good line. We now have a question by E-mail. Mawuda from Cotts Park, England, UK asks whether any of the comedic or dramatic serieses currently on television could be cancelled as a result of this strike. Kate, can you address this?

Dancinia: Not really.

Myers: Ryan?

Pachtorca: I don’t know. I mean, I was hoping to get a bit role in The Closer, but I don’t think they’re working on that right now.

Myers: Laura?

Siegel-Shaw: I don’t know either.

Grant: Don’t I get a chance to answer?

Myers: You were penalised for your poor answer on the last question. Do you have an answer to this one?

Grant: It’s too early to tell.

Myers: That answer was something of a letdown, but not worth a penalty. We have another question by E-mail. It is from Rebecca in Bogs Creek, RI, USA. Rebecca would like to know what Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are going to do next week now that they have exhausted what she describes as their “Help, our writers aren’t here, what are we gonna do” jokes. Ryan?

Pachtorca: I would expect fewer produced pieces, more spontaneous comments about news clips, and more interviews.

Dancinia: Yes, and that may not be so bad for them. There was a great moment on The Daily Show the other day, in which the guest was a strategist for Rudy Giuliani. Jon had made a Simpsons reference, and the strategist said something to the effect that America wouldn’t want President Homer. Without missing a beat, Jon replied, “We have President Homer!”

Siegel-Shaw: That’s kind of funny, but still very predictable. For more subtle humour, you really need a writer.

Pachtorca: So if you were writing a script where someone says America wouldn’t want President Homer, what would you have the other character say?

Siegel-Shaw: No you don’t. You’re not going to get me to do some writing that easily.

Grant: That’s not very funny.

Myers: All right. Well, we have time for one more question today. Mindy in Port Charles, WA, USA, are you there?

Mindy in Port Charles: Yes. Hi.

Myers: Hello Mindy. What is your question?

Mindy in Port Charles: I have a question about the writers’ strike.

Myers: Okay then.

Mindy in Port Charles: Should I say it now?

Myers: That’s less related to the writers’ strike than you made it seem. Ryan, should she say it now?

Mindy in Port Charles: Hey! I haven’t asked my question yet?

Myers: You certainly did. You just said “Should I say it now?”.

Mindy in Port Charles: You thought that was my question?

Myers: Only one question per person per programme. Ryan?

Pachtorca: Yes. She should say “it” right now.

Myers: Well, as it turns out, we still have a moment before we have to clear the air for Fuckups of the Week, coming up next right here on the World News Centre and WNC-HD. Do any of you have any recommendations for the writers, the producers, or anyone else involved in television and films?

Siegel-Shaw: Hang tough, writers. We’ll win.

Grant: I agree, except that I would have to say “you” instead of “we”.

Pachtorca: I always look foolish when I ask for my line and they say, “There’s no script.”

Dancinia: Change Power of 10 to a different timeslot so I don’t have to choose between it and Deal or No Deal.

Myers: All right then. Thanks to Ms Kate Dancinia, Mr Shawn Grant, Mr Ryan Pachtorca, and Ms Laura Siegel-Shaw for joining us here this week. Next week we’ll be back in our usual home in Warwickshire to discuss performance art. We’ll be joined by a ballet dancer, an improvisational comedienne, a mime, and a performance artist who performs great moments from Playboy photo shoots. And remember, of course, that you can visit our website at interaction.goobnet.net to find out how to send your questions to next week’s panel. Until then, good night.

Grant: You’re having a mime on next week?

Pachtorca: That’s someone who won’t need a writer.

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