WEEKLY WHINE
As you may be aware, drinking alcohol and carrying open containers of alcohol are no longer permitted on the Underground in London.
We here at GoobNet went around the world to see what people think.
Pascal, 44, is taking the Métro to Pont Neuf, where he works. We ask him what he thinks about Londoners no longer being able to drink alcohol on the Underground.
“I think that it is absurd that alcohol has been permitted on the Underground this long,” he says. “Binge drinking already is such a serious problem in London. I think that this will help.”
We ask him if he thinks it will lead to people drinking more at pubs and parties, knowing that they won’t be able to continue drinking when they get on the Tube.
Pascal answers, “That is possible. However, I believe that this will help send the message to Londoners that drinking in such excess is not acceptable and that alcohol is best enjoyed in moderation.”
Fukei, 26, Narita, 24, and Hitomi, 20, are exiting the Ginza station in Tokyo. We ask them their opinions of the ban on alcohol on the London Underground.
“They’re only banning it now?” Fukei asks. “It should have been illegal already.”
“Yeah, it’s illegal here,” Hitomi adds.
“It is?” Narita asks.
“It is illegal, right?” Hitomi says. “I’ve never seen anyone drink alcohol on a train.”
“I’ve never seen anyone have enough room to drink anything,” Fukei says.
Jenny, 17, Pressly, 18, Kara, 18, Lisa, 17, and Shola, 17, are at the New York Public Library. We ask them if they have heard about the ban on the London Underground.
“Yeah, I heard about that,” Lisa says. “Last night was the last night you could drink on there. All these people got on and fucking got totally trashed.”
“What happened?” Shola asks.
“They totally went fucking crazy,” Lisa tells her. “They, like, got completely fucking drunk and fucking tore up shit and fucking attacked cops and shit.”
Pressly says, “That’s fucking awesome.”
“Yeah, it was totally fucking incredible,” Lisa says. “I read about it, and, like, thousands of people were on there getting fucking wasted. They, like, got into fights and tore up shit. They had to, like, close down some of the lines.”
“What the fuck was it like for, like, regular people who were going home from, like, theatres and shit?” Jenny says. “They’d be all, ‘I say, Elizabeth, what on Earth are all these scoundrels doing? Drinking to reprehensible excess on board our fine transportation system? I shall not stand for it!’”
“That’s fucking hilarious,” Pressly says. “You should be on, like, Last Comic Standing, or some shit like that.”
We ask them if banning alcohol on public transit is good public policy.
“It totally is,” Shola says. “If that shit happens when people get drunk, then yeah, they should totally ban that shit.”
Pressly says, “They should ban it here, too.”
“It’s already illegal here,” Lisa replies.
“It is?” Pressly asks.
“Totally,” Lisa says. “It’s totally il-fucking-legal. So is, like, smoking, and boom boxes, and rollerblades. Oh, and you can’t go between cars, either.”
“I’ve seen people do all that shit,” Pressly says.
“Yeah, but it’s totally fucking against the law,” Lisa responds. “They do it anyway, because there’s, like, no fucking cops on the fucking subway, like, ever.”
“It’s another sign of the general deterioration of our society,” Jenny says. “Disregard for the law, disregard for other people’s feelings and opinions, all that shit. Especially swearing in public. I’m sick of all that fucking swearing wherever the fuck I go.”
“What about fucking?” Shola asks. “Can you fuck on the subway?”
“I don’t know,” Lisa says. “I don’t think I’ve seen that on the list of things you can’t do.”
Shola says, “Well, it doesn’t matter. You can’t fuck in public anyway.”
“Know what would be awesome?” Lisa says. “Having a fucking orgy on the subway.”
“Isn’t that redundant?” Jenny asks. “‘Fucking orgy’?”
Having noted that Kara hasn’t said a word since she told us her name and age, we ask what she thinks.
“I’m thinking about not hanging out with these fucktards any more,” Kara answers.
We find Tila, 23, and Jesi, 21, in Santa Monica, CA, USA and ask them if they were aware of the ban in London.
Jesi says, “No. You can’t drink alcohol in caves in London?”
We explain that the Underground is London’s subway system.
“Oh,” Tila says. “Yeah, we don’t have a subway in LA, so we don’t know.”
We explain that LA does have a subway: the Red and Purple lines, as well as several other light rail and busway lines.
“What the fuck is a busway?” Tila asks.
We explain the concept of the Orange Line: a dedicated right of way for buses stretching from North Hollywood to Warner Center.
“What the fuck is Warner Center?” Tila asks.
We explain that it’s an area near Woodland Hills.
“What the fuck is Woodland Hills?” Tila asks.
We explain that it’s up the 101 toward Ventura.
“Oh,” Tila says.
Anyway, we ask, what do you think of the alcohol ban on the London Underground?
“So can you have alcohol on the LA subway?” Jesi asks.
We explain that you cannot.
“What about New York?” Tila asks.
We explain that you cannot.
“So it’s just London?” Jesi asks.
We explain that it is not London any more; that’s why we’re here.
“Wait, why was it allowed in the first place?” Tila asks. “Seems like people would get drunk and cause trouble.”
We explain that on the last night of permitted alcohol, people did indeed get drunk on the Underground and cause trouble.
“See?” Jesi says. “It’s a good thing they banned it.”
You don’t think that drinking alcohol on the Tube is a right that’s being denied Londoners?
“How the fuck is it a right to drink alcohol in public?” Tila asks.
Jesi adds, “Yeah, a right would be life, liberty, pursuit of happiness. Actually, I guess alcohol helps you pursue happiness.”
“So, wait,” Tila says. “People in London think public drunkenness is a right? How come we don’t have that right? We should have a protest and demand the right to get wasted on the subway.”
“Yeah,” Jesi says. “Does the subway go here?”
We explain that it does not.
“Does it go to Sunset Boulevard?” Jesi asks.
We explain that it does not.
“Does it go to West Hollywood?” Jesi asks.
We explain that it does not.
“Does it go to Dodger Stadium?” Jesi asks.
We explain that it does not.
“Well, then, where does it go?” Jesi asks.
We explain that the Red and Purple lines include such destinations as North Hollywood, Universal City, Hollywood, downtown, Union Station, and Koreatown.
“What the fuck is Koreatown?” Tila asks.
Oh, forget it.
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