WEEKLY WHINE

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Did you know that things are happening in the world?

If you watch the average television news network, chances are that you did not know this. Television covers news the same way that Lois covers Peter. But the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network covers news the same way that Quagmire covers himself. Here are some of the recurring stories that you can see covered only on the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network.

THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION
Colbert for Secretary of Truthiness!

INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION AT 10
Ten years of orbits, experiments, flushes, and orbits

PIRACY IN THE GULF OF ADEN
If we can’t make a stupid Johnny Depp joke, what’s the point of covering this story?

WORLDWIDE ECONOMIC COLLAPSE
Remember when you could buy things?

FIXING THE PLANET
Remember when you could drink water?

THE TRAVEL INDUSTRY
Remember when you could go places?

INDIA GOES TO THE MOON
This outsourcing trend is getting ridiculous

GENERIC CELEBRITY RETROSPECTIVE
Select an occasion: birthday, death, marriage, divorce, indictment, other