WEEKLY WHINE

You versus everyone else

Did you enjoy our special anniversary event?

You must have, because you’ve been donating a lot of GoobNet Silly Bucks.

So far, none of our single players have won any Silly Bucks, but a great many of them have lost thousands of Silly Bucks to the remaining GoobNet players. But why? Do people really know that little about the major events in GoobNet’s history? To find out, we asked you, the reading public, to tell us your feelings about 1 vs GoobNet. The results may not surprise you. Another thing that may not surprise you is our admonition to maintain a distance of eight thousand klicks from the GoobNet mailbox as we open it ever so slowly.

Are there any questions about which building is the tallest in the world?

– Marshall Strabala
San Francisco, CA, USA

Yes. So if you haven’t seen that question yet, which we’re presuming is true based on the fact that you asked us that, you’d better review your knowledge of the world’s tallest buildings. Given your occupation, of course, that’s probably something you’re already doing.

Is there a question about me in there? I was hoping for a question about me.

– Ken Jennings
Seattle, WA, USA

Amazingly, no. We had questions about many other things that have made news in the last twelve years, but not about important topics like Jeopardy!.

Those questions were too damn hard. Who the fuck knows when Brentford FC was founded?

– Nathan Elder
Brentford, England, UK

Manager Andy Scott has given you a close season homework assignment to write a 3,000 word paper about Brentford FC’s history.

If Ken Jennings gets a question, I should get a question too.

– Brad Rutter
Lancaster, PA, USA

Neither of you is getting a question.

So Ken and Brad get a question, but I don’t? That seems perfectly reasonable to me, actually.

– Jamie Sadler
Upper Montclair, NJ, USA

You know what would be even more reasonable? If none of you got a question.

Were there any questions about the Women’s World Cup? There has been much discussion on your website of the Women’s World Cup, but I didn’t see any here. That kind of disappointed me. Not that I’m complaining. I like the discussion on your website of the Women’s World Cup, and I think it would be wonderful if it continued well into the future.

– Steffi Jones
Frankfurt, Germany

We did have a couple of questions about women’s football in general and the Women’s World Cup in particular. Please continue playing until you reach those questions. Don’t stop for lunch, or bathroom breaks, or anything.

How do I redeem the Silly Bucks I’ve won from everyone who played?

– Victoria Beckham
Los Angeles, CA, USA

Those Silly Bucks were for Vickie Beckham. You will have to change your name to claim them.

Can I have Vickie Beckham’s Silly Bucks?

– Katie Price
London, England, UK

No. Go away.