WEEKLY WHINE

Only 24 more places remain

From time to time, we here at GoobNet threaten to launch a television network that caters to a particular microdemographic. This is such a time.

Yes, the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network has been such a runaway success that we are currently looking for ways to make things with similar titles be runaway successes as well. We are currently planning a 24 hour sports news network to be called the GoobNet Sport Programming Live Using Television network. If it had already been up and running during this last weekend of 2010 Men’s World Cup qualifiers, these are some of the headlines that you would have seen on it.

ITALY CLOSING IN
Kaladze clinches Jeff Agoos ¡Autogolazo! Award

BRAZIL QUALIFY
Mano de Dios gets Rodilla en Cojones

AMERICANS FIGHT BACK AT HOME
Referee busy watching CSI: Miami

GHANA QUALIFY
Achieved by correcting mistakes of non-Serbian coaches

SPAIN CLOSING IN
David and David ‘waffle’ through Belgian defence

PORTUGAL FIGHT BACK ON ROAD
When going down can take you up

SLOVAKIA STAY ON TOP
Muchos saves by Mucha

SWITZERLAND TAKE FIRST
New public holiday ‘Score on Headers in Last Ten Minutes Day’ announced