WEEKLY WHINE

Audio fortune cookies have been cancelled

As you may have heard, Rich Fields is leaving his position as the announcer of the US edition of The Price Is Right and will return to his first love, meteorology. Of course, we would like to extend an invitation to Rich to become the voice of GoobNet. “And the Robert Green Award for the Greatest Catastrofuckup goes to...”

In the meantime, before The Price Is Right swerves off into whatever direction Chip Esten or Brad Sherwood takes it, we will rank the current set of pricing games. Note that Rat Race is not included here; we will rate it after more playings occur. Also, we missed that show.

1. It’s In the Bag: Possibly the perfect pricing game. Requires knowledge, luck, and nerve, which is why $16,000 winners are so rare.
2. 3 Strikes: Easily the best car game, especially if the player gets to the last digit with one strike remaining.
3. Temptation: This is another game that tests players. Discovering that a bailed player’s guess was correct after all is one of the biggest letdowns possible on The Price Is Right.
4. Golden Road: A fan favourite, but gameplay is a little too simple for such glitzy prizes, and no risk is involved.
5. Plinko: Same problems as the Golden Road.
6. Grocery Game
7. Clock Game: Almost a guaranteed win for anyone who can think straight in the midst of lights and television cameras. The recent addition of a bonus prize is a welcome change; two three digit prizes plus a bonus of $1,000 was just too cheap.
8. Race Game
9. Hole in One or Two: Another fan favourite, this is the perfect example of a two part game. Arrange the grocery items, and then putt for the car.
10. Grand Game
11. Gas Money: A player test, but not quite at Temptation’s level.
12. Pathfinder
13. One Away
14. Triple Play
15. Check Game: Don’t be surprised to see this game retired soon. It actually requires players to subtract! In their heads!
16. Any Number: The first game ever played, it may seem random, but the smaller prize can give the player a suggestion as to which digits to avoid.
17. Cliff Hangers
18. Ten Chances: For the last time, do not write down guesses that don’t end in a zero!
19. Dice Game
20. Now or Then: The unique pricing method here makes for a one of a kind game.
21. Punch a Bunch
22. 5 Price Tags: Guessing true or false on a toaster’s price is deceptively difficult.
23. Danger Price
24. Magic Number
25. That’s Too Much: Never stop if the thousands digit has only changed by one.
26. One Wrong Price: The difficulty level here can be close to the T/F toaster.
27. Bonkers
28. 1/2 Off
29. Squeeze Play: This is probably the best example of a quantised game, in which the decision amounts to choosing the correct price out of a small, readily identifiable set.
30. Push Over: The next best example of a quantised game.
31. Step Up: Like Easy as 1-2-3 with some wagering.
32. Stack the Deck
33. Check Out
34. Safe Crackers: The best set design of the quantised games.
35. Shell Game
36. Master Key: Two chances to earn keys may not seem like much, but a player who earns only one key has a 40% chance of winning the car.
37. Pick a Pair
38. Make Your Mark
39. Lucky Seven: A popular and fun game, but the difficulty varies according to the whim of the producer.
40. More or Less
41. Easy as 1-2-3
42. Card Game
43. Spelling Bee: This is a good two part game. Secret X and Pass the Buck, why can’t you be more like this?
44. Make Your Move
45. Most Expensive: A classic game, but nobody ever knew its name until the recent redesign.
46. Cover Up: Use the strategy. No, really, use it.
47. Hi-Lo
48. Bonus Game: Isomorphic to the Shell Game.
49. Switcheroo
50. Balance Game
51. Take Two
52. One Right Price: Misleading title. Should be “One Right Place to Put the Price”.
53. Switch
54. Double Prices: The most straightforward of the quantised games.
55. Money Game
56. Let em Roll: The worst example of a two part game, but at least the second part is fun.
57. Bullseye
58. Clearance Sale: Isomorphic to Easy as 1-2-3.
59. Range Game: This is also a classic game, but it’s pretty much random.
60. Pocket Change: A frustrating game that punishes good players with too much dependence on luck, the only good part is Drew Carey’s opening line: “Crazy Rachel is selling that car for just a quarter!”
61. Freeze Frame: This is a quantised game like Squeeze Play and Push Over, but less interesting.
62. Line em Up
63. Swap Meet: Unique in that the player must find another prize with the same price, rather than going higher or lower. Still, not all that interesting.
64. Flip Flop: A quantised game with three choices.
65. Pass the Buck: Another bad example of a two part game, but at least the first part is interesting.
66. Coming or Going: Isomorphic to Double Prices.
67. Credit Card
68. Two for the Price of One: A quantised game with four choices.
69. Side by Side: Isomorphic to Double Prices.
70. Pick a Number: A quantised game with three choices.
71. Shopping Spree
72. Secret X: Why does this game exist again? It is a two part game in which neither part has any redeeming characteristics.