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WEEKLY WHINE

64 better names

Attention ownership of the club formerly known as the Kansas City Wizards. As you know from the ridicule you have received in the last several days, “Sporting Kansas City” is a poor choice for the name of a football club, and you should immediately beg forgiveness and change the name to something better. In a marathon session that ran almost fifteen minutes, of which six were wasted because participants were suggesting names faster than Gaby could type them, the GoobNet Special Projects Enhancement and Enforcement Division [SPEED] has identified 64 potential names for your football club. Please select any of these names for use at your club.

  1. Kansas City Wizards
  2. Kansas City Wiz
  3. Kansas City Scarecrows
  4. Kansas City Cowardly Lions
  5. Kansas City Tin Men
  6. Kansas City Little Dogs
  7. Kansas City Flying Monkeys
  8. Kansas City Baumers
  9. Emerald Kansas City
  10. Kansas City Greens
  11. Kansas City Reds
  12. Kansas City Blues
  13. Kansas City Fuchsias
  14. Kansas City Artists
  15. Kansas City Amusement
  16. Kansas City Calculus
  17. Integral Kansas City
  18. Exponential Kansas City
  19. Kansas City Rockets
  20. Kansas City Satellites
  21. Kansas City Gantries
  22. Kansas City Admirals
  23. Kansas City Commanders
  24. Kansas City Commodores
  25. Kansas City Ataris
  26. Real Kansas City
  27. Presidential Kansas City
  28. Gubernatorial Kansas City
  29. Mayoral Kansas City
  30. Imperial Kansas City
  31. Kansas City Rebels
  32. Kansas City Alliance
  33. Kansas City X Wings
  34. Kansas City Tie Fighters
  35. Kansas City Robot Chickens
  36. Kansas City Cybermen
  37. Kansas City Daleks
  38. Kansas City Chefs
  39. Kansas City Clash
  40. Kansas City Mutiny
  41. Kansas City 1836
  42. Kansas City Bloggers
  43. Kansas City Status Updates
  44. Kanzaz Citee Can Haz Cheezburger?
  45. K4n5a5 C1+y Pwnage
  46. All Your Footballs Are Belong to Kansas City
  47. Kansas City Anchovies
  48. Kansas City Sardines
  49. Kansas City Salmon
  50. Kansas City Cod
  51. Kansas City Bass
  52. Kansas City Masterpiece
  53. Kansas City Eleven
  54. Footballing Kansas City
  55. Touring Kansas City
  56. Scoring Kansas City
  57. Winning Kansas City
  58. $#%! Kansas City Says
  59. KCFC
  60. KC96
  61. State Line Statesmen
  62. Hunt’s Old Boys
  63. Say Sci Tank Anagram Enthusiasts
  64. FC GoobNet

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