WEEKLY WHINE

64 better names

Attention ownership of the club formerly known as the Kansas City Wizards. As you know from the ridicule you have received in the last several days, “Sporting Kansas City” is a poor choice for the name of a football club, and you should immediately beg forgiveness and change the name to something better. In a marathon session that ran almost fifteen minutes, of which six were wasted because participants were suggesting names faster than Gaby could type them, the GoobNet Special Projects Enhancement and Enforcement Division [SPEED] has identified 64 potential names for your football club. Please select any of these names for use at your club.

1. Kansas City Wizards
2. Kansas City Wiz
3. Kansas City Scarecrows
4. Kansas City Cowardly Lions
5. Kansas City Tin Men
6. Kansas City Little Dogs
7. Kansas City Flying Monkeys
8. Kansas City Baumers
9. Emerald Kansas City
10. Kansas City Greens
11. Kansas City Reds
12. Kansas City Blues
13. Kansas City Fuchsias
14. Kansas City Artists
15. Kansas City Amusement
16. Kansas City Calculus
17. Integral Kansas City
18. Exponential Kansas City
19. Kansas City Rockets
20. Kansas City Satellites
21. Kansas City Gantries
22. Kansas City Admirals
23. Kansas City Commanders
24. Kansas City Commodores
25. Kansas City Ataris
26. Real Kansas City
27. Presidential Kansas City
28. Gubernatorial Kansas City
29. Mayoral Kansas City
30. Imperial Kansas City
31. Kansas City Rebels
32. Kansas City Alliance
33. Kansas City X Wings
34. Kansas City Tie Fighters
35. Kansas City Robot Chickens
36. Kansas City Cybermen
37. Kansas City Daleks
38. Kansas City Chefs
39. Kansas City Clash
40. Kansas City Mutiny
41. Kansas City 1836
42. Kansas City Bloggers
43. Kansas City Status Updates
44. Kanzaz Citee Can Haz Cheezburger?
45. K4n5a5 C1+y Pwnage
46. All Your Footballs Are Belong to Kansas City
47. Kansas City Anchovies
48. Kansas City Sardines
49. Kansas City Salmon
50. Kansas City Cod
51. Kansas City Bass
52. Kansas City Masterpiece
53. Kansas City Eleven
54. Footballing Kansas City
55. Touring Kansas City
56. Scoring Kansas City
57. Winning Kansas City
58. $#%! Kansas City Says
59. KCFC
60. KC96
61. State Line Statesmen
62. Hunt’s Old Boys
63. Say Sci Tank Anagram Enthusiasts
64. FC GoobNet