|60||Men’s World Cup|
MON 05 NOV 2018
“Let us now take this opportunity to introduce a Women’s International Timetable and Schedule for Advancing World Football and Unifying Leagues.” Deploy an angry tweet storm regarding our inability to deconflict the Olympic qualifiers and the CONMEBOL Women’s Nations League as we show you How to Clean Up the Women’s International Calendar.
MON 29 OCT 2018
“Is there not a way to give these teams something to do in the interim?” Become fully aware that the next Mia Hamm is out there – and that there exist female footballers other than Mia Hamm – in How to Rise to the Challenge of Women’s Football.
MON 22 OCT 2018
“We expand the women’s Olympic football tournament to sixteen teams.” Discover that Jamaica are not going anywhere without a fight in How to Play More Women’s Football.
MON 15 OCT 2018
“The AFC has an alarmingly low Women’s World Cup participation rate: less than half of its membership entered the 2019 qualifiers.” Remind Saudi Arabia early and often that women are footballers too in How to Qualify for the Women’s World Cup.
MON 11 JUN 2018
“Some of the other unforgettable moments include Ethan Horvath’s acrobatic save of a Justin Kluivert header in the United States’ wild 5-4 loss to the Netherlands, the semifinal goal by Italy’s Jorginho that was disallowed after a tense fifty two minute video review, and the infamous press conference in which Robert Mancini denounced the corruption of the organisers of the Bender B Rodriguez Blackjack and Hookers Cup and announced that Italy were going to stage their own tournament, only to later conclude that both the tournament and the blackjack were to be discontinued, and, upon further reflection, so was the entire thing.” Realise that nothing is a complete load, not if you can imagine the Results of the Bender B Rodriguez Blackjack and Hookers Cup.
MON 21 MAY 2018
“Luckily, we here at GoobNet do not limit ourselves to reality.” Reject our reality and substitute your own in Rush to Keep Trying.
MON 07 MAY 2018
“If you’re not sure, avoid putting the least expensive item at the bottom.” Keep the soup out of the mailbox in Jasmine’s The Price Is Right Strategy Guide: If You’re Not Sure....
MON 16 APR 2018
“If you’re not sure, just guess US$3,000.” Say the secret word, which is totally not banana, in Jasmine’s The Price Is Right Strategy Guide: Unwritten Rules.
MON 05 MAR 2018
“So let’s prepare ourselves for it.” Wisely sidestep all numerical challenges in Jasmine’s The Price Is Right Strategy Guide: Ten Chances.
MON 29 JAN 2018
“How, then, do you maximise the number of guesses?” Just keep saying numbers in Jasmine’s The Price Is Right Strategy Guide: Cover Up.
MON 18 DEC 2017
“Just say five and win the car.” Do not say R or buy a vowel in Jasmine’s The Price Is Right Strategy Guide: Lucky Seven.
MON 20 NOV 2017
“Red totally counts as dark.” Realise that everything is 40% useless in The Bender B Rodriguez Blackjack and Hookers Cup.
MON 06 NOV 2017
“You are permitted as many guesses as you can possibly attempt within thirty seconds.” Discover that the name is even more apt than it first appears in Jasmine’s The Price Is Right Strategy Guide: Bonkers.
MON 16 OCT 2017
“i wanna vomit, punch klinsmann in the face, cry, and get my coaching license” Tomorrow is another match, but be forewarned that today The GoobNet SPEED Howls with Incandescent Rage.
MON 09 OCT 2017
“To date this season, the Texans, Bengals, Rams, 49ers, Bears, Packers, Patriots, and Buccaneers have all helped the NFL enable Nike’s addiction to creating new and unusual kits.” Discover why nobody has ever tried that fabulous new idea in Rush to Make Adjustments.
MON 28 AUG 2017
“At this point, you can make use of a trick that alarmingly few contestants employ.” Find out just how lucky the Lucky Drew Dollars are in Jasmine’s The Price Is Right Strategy Guide: Clock Game.
PLEASE SEND ALL TEXT-BASED SENSUALITY TO <GOOBNET@GOOBNET.NET>
© 2018 GOOBNET ENTERPRISES, INC [WHICH DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST HOWEVER]
THIS FILE ACCURATE AS OF: MON 10 DEC 2018 – 12:00:00 UTC · GENERATED IN 0.027 SECONDS