WEEKLY WHINE

Do not fuel your lighter with it

As you know, travelling on aircraft is wrong. By this point we were supposed to have regular flights to the Moon on the Pan Am Space Clipper, with excursions to Hyper Base One every Tuesday and Friday. But somewhere along the line we forgot that travelling within Earth’s atmosphere is inconvenient and inefficient, and that travelling outside Earth’s atmosphere is awesomely awesome.

If you yourself are currently trapped in an outmoded facility wherein thousands of people like yourself are sitting somewhere waiting for the opportunity to confine themselves in tight quarters within a metal cylinder that doesn’t even have a microgravity period, we have prepared a brand new Super Happy Assortment of GoobNet Activities Designed Exclusively for Lagged Individuals and Companions. Print them out and participate in them when your aircraft is deemed unusable because someone neglected to pour the funny green stuff into the lavatory.

SPEE-ARRANGE

Complete this box such that each row, column, and diagonal contains exactly one asterisk.

WHAT’S MISSING?

Identify the word that belongs in each of the blanks below.

1. Packers -3 ______
2. The temperature in Dallas is _____
3. The labour dispute could result in a _____
4. The scheduled location of Super Bowl XLVI is _____

THE QUESTIONS

1. Which team won the first Super Bowl?

1. The team that scored first
2. The team that had just won a fourth league championship
3. The team that was charged with more penalties
4. The team that was favoured by 14 points

2. Which of these cities has hosted at least one Super Bowl?

1. Detroit, MI, USA
2. Stanford, CA, USA
3. Minneapolis, MN, USA
4. Atlanta, GA, USA

3. The team currently representing which of these cities is undefeated in Super Bowls?

1. Crescent City
2. Charm City
3. City by the Bay
4. Lightning Capital of North America

4. Which team won the first Super Bowl played in New Jersey?

1. The team that wore green
2. The team that wore black
3. The team that wore blue
4. The team that wore orange

[ show the answers ]