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Anyway, it’s not all shiny success here at the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network. We have still been unsuccessful in launching our 24 hour sports news network, for reasons that will forever be a mystery to us. So we will therefore have to settle for smaller, temporary measures like regular sports updates from Jhonny, a segment we like to call “Regular Sports Updates from Jhonny”. Here are the sports items on which Jhonny updated us in some of the most recent Regular Sports Updates from Jhonny.
TERRY’S INTERNATIONAL CAREER OVER
Rumours that FA begging Beckham to return untrue – probably
REPLACEMENT REFEREE WATCH
Teams eager for regular referees to return include Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Washington, St Louis, Atlanta, ...
PREMIER LEAGUE HANDSHAKE WATCH
Suarez-Evra 1, Terry-Ferdinand 0
FIFA ETHICS CRISIS
Investigators report lack of cooperation, tea
DC RETURNS TO POSTSEASON
Washington continue streak of participating in baseball playoffs only when economy is rotten
NHL LOCKED OUT
GoobNet Hockey League on standby
SAN JOSE APPROACH SHIELD
Rest of MLS still frantically adjusting sets
GENERIC COLLEGIATE AMERICAN FOOTBALL REPORT
Select topic: strange rankings, surprising result, this week’s crazy Oregon uniform, other
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