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WEEKLY WHINE

Forty third down

There now follows a ranking of our favourite NFL referee signals. In keeping with our excitement about the regular NFL referees returning, we have decided to list all of their signals and order them by how much we like them.

This was actually the subject of some very heated discussions here at GoobNet headquarters. We had certain constituencies lobbying hard for their preferred signals [loss of down and false start had their particular supporters], but we feel that the ordering shown below is a good representation of our consensus.

  1. Safety: Palms together over the head
  2. Illegal touching of ball: Fingertips tap shoulders
  3. Pass juggled inbounds, caught out of bounds: Arms vertical in front of body, hands moved up and down
  4. Intentional grounding: Arms moved diagonally down and left in parallel
  5. Illegal block below the waist: Bent forward, one hand touching front of leg
  6. Illegal cut: Bent forward, hands touching front of legs
  7. Clipping: Bent forward, one hand touching side of leg
  8. Chop block: Bent forward, hands touching sides of legs
  9. Illegal crackback: One hand touching side of leg
  10. Delay of game, excess timeout: Arms folded
  11. Loss of down: Hands behind head
  12. Start clock: Arm in circular motion
  13. Reset play clock to 25 seconds: Raise roof with one hand
  14. Reset play clock to 40 seconds: Raise roof with both hands
  15. Player disqualified: Thumb in vertical arc over shoulder
  16. False start, illegal formation, kickoff out of bounds: Hands rotated in style of lottery tumbler
  17. Roughing kicker: Leg swinging forward
  18. Touchdown, field goal, successful try: Both arms up
  19. Offside, encroachment, neutral zone infraction: Hands on hips
  20. Illegal use of hands, arms, or body: One palm forward, other hand holding wrist
  21. Incomplete pass, unsuccessful try, penalty declined: Arms waved in horizontal arcs
  22. Pass caught: Arms vertical in front of body, fists moved down
  23. Invalid fair catch signal: One arm waved over head
  24. Facemask: Fist in front of face
  25. Forward pass deflected: One arm moved against other
  26. Tripping: One leg moved against other
  27. Stop clock: Arms waved in vertical arcs
  28. Touchback: One arm waved in vertical arc
  29. Holding: Arms in front of body, one hand holding other wrist
  30. First down: Arm extended toward defensive goal
  31. Uncatchable forward pass: One arm waved forward and backward over head
  32. Illegal motion: One arm waved in horizontal arc away from body
  33. Pass interference, fair catch interference: Palms forward
  34. Illegal contact: One palm forward
  35. Illegal shift: Arms waved in horizontal arcs away from body
  36. Roughing passer: Raised arm swinging forward
  37. Dead ball: High five
  38. Personal foul: Arms above head, one hand striking other wrist
  39. Interlocking interference, pushing or helping runner: Arms down, hands pushing forward
  40. Unsportsmanlike conduct: Both arms out, palms down
  41. Ineligible receiver, ineligible man downfield: One hand on head
  42. Illegal substitution, too many men in huddle, too many men on field: Hands on head
  43. Illegal forward pass: One hand behind back

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