WEEKLY WHINE

Forty third down

There now follows a ranking of our favourite NFL referee signals. In keeping with our excitement about the regular NFL referees returning, we have decided to list all of their signals and order them by how much we like them.

This was actually the subject of some very heated discussions here at GoobNet headquarters. We had certain constituencies lobbying hard for their preferred signals [loss of down and false start had their particular supporters], but we feel that the ordering shown below is a good representation of our consensus.

1. Safety: Palms together over the head
2. Illegal touching of ball: Fingertips tap shoulders
3. Pass juggled inbounds, caught out of bounds: Arms vertical in front of body, hands moved up and down
4. Intentional grounding: Arms moved diagonally down and left in parallel
5. Illegal block below the waist: Bent forward, one hand touching front of leg
6. Illegal cut: Bent forward, hands touching front of legs
7. Clipping: Bent forward, one hand touching side of leg
8. Chop block: Bent forward, hands touching sides of legs
9. Illegal crackback: One hand touching side of leg
10. Delay of game, excess timeout: Arms folded
11. Loss of down: Hands behind head
12. Start clock: Arm in circular motion
13. Reset play clock to 25 seconds: Raise roof with one hand
14. Reset play clock to 40 seconds: Raise roof with both hands
15. Player disqualified: Thumb in vertical arc over shoulder
16. False start, illegal formation, kickoff out of bounds: Hands rotated in style of lottery tumbler
17. Roughing kicker: Leg swinging forward
18. Touchdown, field goal, successful try: Both arms up
19. Offside, encroachment, neutral zone infraction: Hands on hips
20. Illegal use of hands, arms, or body: One palm forward, other hand holding wrist
21. Incomplete pass, unsuccessful try, penalty declined: Arms waved in horizontal arcs
22. Pass caught: Arms vertical in front of body, fists moved down
23. Invalid fair catch signal: One arm waved over head
24. Facemask: Fist in front of face
25. Forward pass deflected: One arm moved against other
26. Tripping: One leg moved against other
27. Stop clock: Arms waved in vertical arcs
28. Touchback: One arm waved in vertical arc
29. Holding: Arms in front of body, one hand holding other wrist
30. First down: Arm extended toward defensive goal
31. Uncatchable forward pass: One arm waved forward and backward over head
32. Illegal motion: One arm waved in horizontal arc away from body
33. Pass interference, fair catch interference: Palms forward
34. Illegal contact: One palm forward
35. Illegal shift: Arms waved in horizontal arcs away from body
36. Roughing passer: Raised arm swinging forward
37. Dead ball: High five
38. Personal foul: Arms above head, one hand striking other wrist
39. Interlocking interference, pushing or helping runner: Arms down, hands pushing forward
40. Unsportsmanlike conduct: Both arms out, palms down
41. Ineligible receiver, ineligible man downfield: One hand on head
42. Illegal substitution, too many men in huddle, too many men on field: Hands on head
43. Illegal forward pass: One hand behind back