WEEKLY WHINE

Our chance to make faces on Mars

Work toward our new remote office is progressing rapidly. The decision to open a remote office on Mars was met with great fanfare and excitement, as well as some measure of derision from those who believed that the remote office should be someplace that humans can get to.

Our response that humans should totally be able to get to Mars pretty much shut those derisors up. Most of them have since proceeded to CBS, whom they have provided with some measure of derision about the laughably unrealistic Under the Dome.

Anyway, you will no doubt recall that we presented several options for the location of our new Mars remote office. Our team has reviewed the selections and provided their recommendations. Let’s be recommended, shall we?

DEB

For me, it was down to two possibilities: Candor Chasma and Ulysses Fossae. Candor Chasma gives us some fantastic opportunities to visit the entire Valles Marineris system, and Ulysses Fossae is convenient for the Tharsis region.

In the end, I went for Candor Chasma because of the broad variety of surface features to be found in the Valles Marineris area. In particular, I want to explore the spires that can be found in the chasms.

EDVARD

I selected Syrtis Major for its broad array of rock types and minerals. Basalt, especially, is prevalent, along with olivine, but what is really interesting to me is the areas in Syrtis Major that have narrow dikes protruding from the surface. On Earth, dikes like this are associated with precious metals like gold and silver. So naturally, I am hoping to be the first person to strike gold on another planet.

DEBBIE

I believe the Syrtis Major region is the best choice for our field office. Visiting Syrtis Major will give us a wide variety of surface features to examine, from sand dunes to volcanic calderas to inverted stream beds. In addition, there seems to be a dense magma chamber beneath the calderas that we might want to drill into.

AMBER LYNN

It’s gotta be Terra Cimmeria. Let’s visit the crater where Mars Exploration Rover A landed. It found some minerals that only form in the presence of water. That has to be a good sign.

RICH

I’m with Candor Chasma. All of the nominated locales are great, but in Candor Chasma, we have the opportunity to visit the entire Valles Marineris system, and Candor in particular is one of the stars of the region. We’ll be able to see the strange grooved and etched terrain on the canyon floor, a puzzle that I think we can help solve.

GABY

I want to go to Ulysses Fossae. Just put me in charge of the expeditions up Olympus Mons.

NINA

I want to build our field office in Terra Cimmeria. Mars Exploration Rover A has already explored near the area, and it found a site that could have once been a hot spring. Imagine the first ever Martian spa day.

WEN

Candor Chasma has to be the best place for us to build our office. Imagine doing our weekly video podcast with those spectacular canyon walls towering over us.

JHONNY

I cast my vote for Terra Cimmeria. The gullies there are fantastically interesting, as they were probably formed by running water. Terra Cimmeria is also convenient for Hellas Planitia and Gusev Crater. Our remote office in Terra Cimmeria will be our ticket to the rest of Mars.

REG

I’m voting for Candor Chasma. Wen’s argument about doing our video podcast from the middle of the canyon really swayed me. And Edvard’s counterargument that we don’t have a video podcast really didn’t sway me. After all, by the time the office opens, we might have a video podcast.

FINAL VOTE

So Gaby voted for Ulysses Fossae, and Edvard and Debbie went for Syrtis Major. Terra Cimmeria received votes from Jhonny, Nina, and Amber Lynn. But it was Candor Chasma winning the vote, as Reg, Deb, Rich, and Wen all sided with the steep canyon sides.

So, you can look forward to the video podcast with the dramatic background. But first, you will have to look forward to the video podcast itself. After all, we still need to decide who will participate. Wen has the most video podcast experience, as she briefly appeared in the background of that one video podcast that one time. But on the other hand, Edvard has all that experience at the museum. He is currently trying to convince all of us that his museum experience somehow applies.