WEEKLY WHINE

Appealing to lack of authority

There now follows a ranking of some of our favourite types of logical fallacies. These logical fallacies were brought to you by logic. Logic: It’s what’s for dinner.

It has come to our attention that logic is not in fact what’s for dinner. Instead, logic is a means of determining the validity of a reasoning process and applying valid reasoning processes to draw conclusions from known inputs.

It has also come to our attention that these logical fallacies were not in fact brought to you by logic. Instead, logical fallacies are brought to people through a variety of other processes, none of which are logic. If someone presents an argument that contains a logical fallacy, that argument, by definition, is not a form of logic.

We apologise for mistakenly furthering these popular misapprehensions about the nature of logic, the origins of logical fallacies, and the nutritional content of logic. Everyone knows that logic is only part of a balanced dinner.

1. Post hoc fallacy: MLS has not gone out of business since Chivas USA were founded. Therefore Chivas USA saved MLS.
2. Base rate fallacy: How likely are you to receive a false positive on an HIV test? If you only take into account the test’s accuracy rating, and not the rates amongst the general population, you have fallen into this fallacy.
3. Fallacy of the single cause: Why aren’t people going to movies? Because file sharing exists, obviously.
4. Red herring fallacy: You should disregard Rush Limbaugh because he is overweight.
5. Affirming the consequent: If someone scores lots of goals, he is a good footballer. Omar González is a good footballer. Therefore he scores lots of goals... right?
6. Argument from fallacy: Someone said not to listen to Rush Limbaugh because he’s overweight. But that was an ad hominem fallacy. Therefore you should listen to Rush Limbaugh.
7. Nirvana fallacy: Background checks for all gun sales wouldn’t prevent all gun crimes. Therefore we shouldn’t extend background checks.
8. Invalid argument by analogy: Amber Lynn doesn’t like Vegemite. Therefore she won’t like Tim Tams.
9. Circular logic: It sucks when a proof turns out to be circular, because that sucks.
10. Gambler’s fallacy: Yeah, you should totally keep putting all your chips on twenty.
11. Slippery slope fallacy: If gay couples can adopt children, horses will eat each other. Yes, horses eating each other! Read the Bible!
12. Straw man fallacy: One time, Gaby said that she liked Skittles. Jhonny replied that nobody could live on Skittles alone. Gaby said, “Dude, I wasn’t proposing anything of the sort.”