Top lines of the Whoniverse

There now follows a ranking of the top lines and exchanges of the current run of Doctor Who, shown here with the episode in which they appeared. Criteria included interestingness, funnyness, and memorableness.

1.	Adelaide Brooke: State your name, rank, and intent. Tenth Doctor: The Doctor. Doctor. Fun.	416: “The Waters of Mars”
2.	River Song: Spoilers!	408: “Silence in the Library” [and many more occasions]
3.	Eleventh Doctor: You didn’t always take me where I wanted to go! TARDIS [in Idris’s body]: No, but I always took you where you needed to go!	604: “The Doctor’s Wife”
4.	Eleventh Doctor: I’m the Doctor. Basically... run.	501: “The Eleventh Hour”
5.	Tenth Doctor: Well, you need to get yourself a better dictionary. When you do, look up genocide. You’ll find a little picture of me there, and the caption will read Over my dead body!	406: “The Doctor’s Daughter”
6.	Carmen: He will knock four times.	415: “Planet of the Dead”
7.	Clara Oswald: To you, I’m a ghost. We’re all ghosts to you. We must be nothing. Eleventh Doctor: No. No. You’re not that. Clara Oswald: Then what are we? What can we possibly be? Eleventh Doctor: You are the only mystery worth solving.	710: “Hide”
8.	Dalek: You would make a good Dalek.	106: “Dalek”
9.	Ninth Doctor: Everything has its time, and everything dies.	102: “The End of the World”
10.	Ninth Doctor: Nice to meet you, Rose. Run for your life!	101: “Rose”
11.	River Song: It’s not supposed to make that noise. You leave the brakes on!	504: “The Time of Angels”
12.	TARDIS [in Idris’s body]: I just wanted to say... hello.	604: “The Doctor’s Wife”
13.	Amy Pond: You threw the manual in a supernova? Why? Eleventh Doctor: Because I disagreed with it!	507: “Amy’s Choice”
14.	Reinette: What do monsters have nightmares about? Tenth Doctor: Me.	204: “The Girl in the Fireplace”
15.	Ninth Doctor: I want to find a blonde in a Union Jack. I mean a specific one. I didn’t just wake up this morning with a craving.	109: “The Empty Child”
16.	Trine-e: But that’s a compact laser deluxe! Zu-Zana: Where were you hiding that?! Capt Jack Harkness: You really don’t want to know.	112: “Bad Wolf”
17.	Jackie Tyler: Anything else he’s got two of? Rose Tyler: Mum!	200: “The Christmas Invasion”
18.	Tenth Doctor: You’ve got to jump! Donna Noble: I’m in my wedding dress! Tenth Doctor: Yes, you look lovely. Come on!	300: “The Runaway Bride”
19.	Eleventh Doctor: Is this how time normally passes? Really slowly? In the right order?	510: “Vincent and the Doctor”
20.	Rose Tyler: You’ve upset my mum! Elton Pope: Great big absorbing creature from outer space, and you’re having a go at me?	210: “Love and Monsters”
21.	Donna Noble: Who are you? Tenth Doctor: What? Donna Noble: What the hell is this place? Tenth Doctor: What? Donna Noble: Take me back, right now! Tenth Doctor: What?!	213: “Doomsday”
22.	River Song: This is the Doctor in the days before he knew me. When he looks at me, he looks right through me. And it shouldn’t kill me, but it does.	408: “Silence in the Library”
23.	Eleventh Doctor: She’s a woman! And she’s the TARDIS! Amy Pond: Did you wish really hard?	604: “The Doctor’s Wife”
24.	Eleventh Doctor: Bowties are cool!	501: “The Eleventh Hour” [and many more occasions]
25.	Martha Jones: You’re taking me to the same planets that you took her? Tenth Doctor: What’s wrong with that? Martha Jones: Nothing. Just, ever heard of the word rebound?	303: “Gridlock”
26.	Martha Jones: Is that what happens though, seriously? You just get bored of us one day and disappear? Capt Jack Harkness: Not if you’re blonde. Martha Jones: Oh, she was blonde! Oh, what a surprise! Tenth Doctor: You two! We’re at the end of the Universe, eh? Right at the edge of knowledge itself! And you’re busy... blogging!	311: “Utopia”
27.	Tenth Doctor: Thank you. Thank you, Donna Noble. It’s been brilliant. You saved my life, in so many ways. You are... you’re just popping home for a visit, that’s what you mean. Donna Noble: Yeah. Tenth Doctor: And then you’re coming right back. Donna Noble: You dumbo. You know what you are? You’re a great big outer space dunce!	404: “The Sontaran Stratagem”
28.	Cyberman: Our species are similar, though your design is inelegant. Dalek Thay: Daleks have no concept of elegance. Cyberman: This is obvious.	213: “Doomsday”
29.	Rory Williams: Would you like me to repeat the question?	607: “A Good Man Goes to War”
30.	Tenth Doctor: When you go home, you can tell everyone you’ve seen Shakespeare. Martha Jones: And then I can get sectioned!	302: “The Shakespeare Code”
31.	Eleventh Doctor: I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do. Amy Pond: Then what is the point of you?	507: “Amy’s Choice”
32.	Capt Jack Harkness: I could go meet myself. Tenth Doctor: Well, the only man you’re ever going to be happy with. Capt Jack Harkness: This new regeneration. It’s kinda cheeky.	311: “Utopia”
33.	Rose Tyler: Doctor, they’ve got guns. Tenth Doctor: And I haven’t. Which makes me the better person, don’t you think? They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine.	212: “Army of Ghosts”
34.	Tenth Doctor: People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect. But actually, from a nonlinear, nonsubjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff. Sally Sparrow: You said that sentence got away from you. Tenth Doctor: It kinda got away from me, yeah.	310: “Blink”
35.	Clara Oswald: When you say ‘mobile phone’, why do you point at that box? Eleventh Doctor: Because it’s a surprisingly accurate description!	707: “The Bells of Saint John”
36.	Tenth Doctor: I’m the Doctor. I’m a Time Lord. I’m from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I’m nine hundred and three years old. And I’m the man who’s going to save your lives and all six billion people on the planet below. You got a problem with that?	400: “Voyage of the Damned”
37.	Eleventh Doctor: You know that in nine hundred years of time and space, I’ve never met anybody who wasn’t important before.	600: “A Christmas Carol”
38.	Davros: Your voice is different. And yet, its arrogance is unchanged.	413: “Journey’s End”
39.	Martha Jones: What’d you do to upset her? Tenth Doctor: Don’t know! I haven’t done it yet! That’s time travel for you!	302: “The Shakespeare Code”
40.	Tenth Doctor: Back into the Time War, Rassilon! Back into hell!	418: “The End of Time, Part Two”
41.	Rose Tyler: If you are an alien, how come you sound like you’re from the north? Ninth Doctor: Lots of planets have a north!	101: “Rose”
42.	Lady Christina da Souza: You look human. Tenth Doctor: You look Time Lord.	415: “Planet of the Dead”
43.	Eleventh Doctor: You graffitied the oldest cliff face in the Universe! River Song: You didn’t answer your phone!	512: “The Pandorica Opens”
44.	Amy Pond: It’s the prime minister. Eleventh Doctor: Which one? Amy Pond: [to phone] Which prime minister? [to Doctor] The British one. Eleventh Doctor: Which British prime minister?	502: “The Beast Below”
45.	River Song: He can’t cross his own timeline. It would blow a hole in the Universe. Amy Pond: He’s done it before. Rory Williams: And in fairness, the Universe did blow up.	601: “The Impossible Astronaut”
46.	Ninth Doctor: Since when do the Daleks have a concept of blasphemy?	113: “The Parting of the Ways”
47.	Eleventh Doctor: Still not ginger!	418: “The End of Time, Part Two”
48.	Eleventh Doctor: There’s one thing you never put in a trap if you’re smart. If you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there is one thing you never, ever put in a trap. Angel Bob: And what would that be, sir? Eleventh Doctor: Me!	504: “The Time of Angels”
49.	Mickey Smith: I think I know my own name!	104: “Aliens of London”
50.	Agatha Christie: I found my husband with another woman. A younger, prettier woman. Isn’t it always the way? Donna Noble: Well, mine was with a giant spider, but, same difference.	407: “The Unicorn and the Wasp”
51.	Dalek Sec: You are superior in only one respect. Cyber Leader: What is that? Dalek Sec: You are better at dying!	213: “Doomsday”
52.	Donna Noble: Isn’t travelling with you one big spoiler? Tenth Doctor: I try to keep you away from major plot developments.	408: “Silence in the Library”
53.	Eleventh Doctor: Now then, Rory, we need to talk about your fiancé. She tried to kiss me. Tell you what though, you’re a lucky man – she’s a great kisser! [awkward pause] ...Funny how you can say something in your head, and it sounds fine...	506: “The Vampires of Venice”
54.	Clara Oswald: Why don’t I have the Internet? Eleventh Doctor: It’s 1207. Clara Oswald: I’ve got half past three. Am I phoning a different time zone? Eleventh Doctor: Yeah, you really sort of are. Clara Oswald: Will it show up on the bill? Eleventh Doctor: Oh, I dread to think.	707: “The Bells of Saint John”
55.	Tenth Doctor: I’d call you a genius, except I’m in the room.	206: “The Age of Steel”
56.	Capt Jack Harkness: Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, ‘This could be a little more sonic!’?	110: “The Doctor Dances”
57.	Tenth Doctor: Fascinating race, the Weeping Angels. The only psychopaths in the Universe to kill you nicely. No mess, no fuss. They just zap you into the past and let you live to death.	310: “Blink”
58.	Elton Pope: [voiceover] So it began. The impossible task. To scour the mean streets, to search a major capital city for an unknown girl. To hunt down that face in a seething metropolis of lost souls. To find that one girl in ten million. Old lady: Oh, that’s Rose Tyler. She lives just down there.	210: “Love and Monsters”
59.	Tenth Doctor: I just want a mate. Donna Noble: You just want to mate?! Tenth Doctor: A mate! I want a mate! Donna Noble: You’re not mating with me, sunshine!	401: “Partners in Crime”
60.	Eleventh Doctor: Geronimo! Tenth Doctor: Allons-y! War Doctor: Oh, for god’s sake! Gallifrey stands!	715: “The Day of the Doctor”
61.	River Song: I have questions, but number one is this: What in the name of sanity have you got on your head? Eleventh Doctor: It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.	513: “The Big Bang”
62.	Ood Sigma: I think your song must end soon.	403: “Planet of the Ood”
63.	Eleventh Doctor: Sometimes, knowing your own future is what enables you to change it. Especially if you’re bloody minded, contradictory, and completely unpredictable. Rory Williams: So basically, if you’re Amy, then. Eleventh Doctor: Yes. If anyone can defeat predestiny, it’s your wife.	610: “The Girl Who Waited”
64.	Donna Noble: So this isn’t the real me? This isn’t my real body? But I’ve been dieting!	409: “Forest of the Dead”
65.	Miss Hartigan: But you promised me! You said I’d never be converted! Cyber Leader: That was designated a lie.	414: “The Next Doctor”
66.	Eleventh Doctor: Yo ho ho! [awkward pause] ...Or does nobody actually say that?	603: “The Curse of the Black Spot”
67.	Elizabeth X: I’m the bloody Queen, mate.	502: “The Beast Below”
68.	Harriet Jones: Harriet Jones, former prime minister. Dalek: Yes, we know who you are.	412: “The Stolen Earth”
69.	War Doctor: Oh, Bad Wolf Girl, I could kiss you! Moment: [knowing] Yeah, that’s gonna happen.	715: “The Day of the Doctor”
70.	Tenth Doctor: Don’t they teach recreational mathematics any more?	307: “42”
71.	Spurrina: This prattling voice will cease forever! Tenth Doctor: Oh, that’ll be the day.	402: “The Fires of Pompeii”
72.	Brian Williams: Are you saying that dinosaurs are flying a spaceship? Eleventh Doctor: Brian, please. That would be ridiculous. They’re probably just passengers.	702: “Dinosaurs on a Spaceship”
73.	Eleventh Doctor: Never ignore a coincidence. Unless you’re busy. In which case, always ignore a coincidence.	512: “The Pandorica Opens”
74.	Eleventh Doctor: I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesn’t have to end. I hate endings!	705: “The Angels Take Manhattan”
75.	Mickey Smith: The missus and the ex. Welcome to every man’s worst nightmare!	203: “School Reunion”
76.	Ood: We must feed! We must feed! We must feed... you. If you are hungry.	208: “The Impossible Planet”
77.	Rose Tyler: Look at you, beaming away like you’re Father Christmas. Ninth Doctor: Who says I’m not, red-bicycle-when-you-were-twelve? Rose Tyler: What?	110: “The Doctor Dances”
78.	Rassilon: For Gallifrey! For victory! For the end of time itself!	417: “The End of Time, Part One”
79.	Amy Pond: Okay, kid. This is where it gets complicated.	513: “The Big Bang”
80.	Tenth Doctor: All the world’s a stage. William Shakespeare: Hmmm, I might use that.	302: “The Shakespeare Code”
81.	Eleventh Doctor: Oh, Tricky Dicky. They’ll never forget about you.	602: “Day of the Moon”
82.	Madame Vastra: Good evening. I’m a lizard woman from the dawn of time, and this is my wife.	706: “The Snowmen”
83.	Eleventh Doctor: I speak horse. He’s called Susan. And he wants you to respect his life choices.	703: “A Town Called Mercy”
84.	Strax: Sir, permission to express my opposition to your current apathy? Eleventh Doctor: Permission granted. Strax: Sir, I am opposed to your current apathy.	706: “The Snowmen”
85.	Clara Oswald: Don’t steal that one. Steal this one. The navigation system’s knackered, but you’ll have much more fun.	714: “The Name of the Doctor”
86.	Amy Pond: Twelve years! And four psychiatrists!	501: “The Eleventh Hour”
87.	Donna Noble: Being with you, I can’t tell what’s right and what’s wrong any more. Tenth Doctor: It’s better that way.	403: “Planet of the Ood”
88.	Rory Williams: She’ll say that we can’t accept it because it’s too extravagant, and we’ll always feel a crippling sense of obligation. It’s a risk I’m willing to take.	611: “The God Complex”
89.	Clara Oswin Oswald: It’s smaller on the outside! Eleventh Doctor: Okay, that is a first.	706: “The Snowmen”
90.	Tenth Doctor: It’s like when you’re in love with someone, but they don’t even know you exist. Capt Jack Harkness: [to Martha] You too, huh?	312: “The Sound of Drums”
91.	Tenth Doctor and Sky Silvestry: [together] Oh Doctor, you’re so handsome. Yes, I am. Thank you.	410: “Midnight”
92.	Tenth Doctor: A Judoon platoon upon the Moon.	301: “Smith and Jones”
93.	Ianto Jones: No broken bones. Slight loss of dignity. No change there, then.	412: “The Stolen Earth”
94.	Tenth Doctor: That’s a screwdriver. How is it sonic? Jackson Lake: Well, it makes a noise.	414: “The Next Doctor”
95.	Donna Noble: You held the reception without me? You held the reception without me?! Tenth Doctor: Donna – Donna Noble: They held the reception without me! Tenth Doctor: I gathered.	300: “The Runaway Bride”
96.	Lily Arwell: Why would you rewire a wardrobe? Eleventh Doctor: Have you seen the way I dress?	700: “The Doctor, the Widow, and the Wardrobe”
97.	Eleventh Doctor: I’m being extremely clever up here, and there’s no one to stand around looking impressed! What’s the point in having you all?	601: “The Impossible Astronaut”
98.	Tenth Doctor: Me! Living in a house! Now that... that is terrifying.	208: “The Impossible Planet”
99.	Charles Dickens: What the Shakespeare is going on?	103: “The Unquiet Dead”
100.	Eleventh Doctor: I’m from Scotland Yard, code name the Doctor. And these are my associates: [pointing to Amy] the Legs, [pointing to Rory] the Nose, and [pointing to River] Mrs Robinson. River Song: I hate you.	601: “The Impossible Astronaut”

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